10 November 2012

And I'm back.  It's been an weird few weeks.  I managed to catch the abominable flu that's been going around.  I went three days in a row without eating and hardly being able to drink even water (a very bad situation for someone who is trying gain weight!) and then just as I was recovering from that, managed to get food poisoning that took a full week to clear up. 

Now I'm tired...exhausted really...and can't remember a time when I wasn't. 

That's the bad news. 

The good news is that even though I haven't been eating as much as I should, I haven't been exerting myself that much either.  At one point a couple weeks ago I weighed in at 182 but I've since rebounded.  I suspect a lot of that loss was simple dehydration from being sick.

Currently I'm back to around 190.  I probably should weigh myself to be certain but I'm just so tired of seeing the same damned 189 staring back at me from the scale.  Now that I'm feeling better, I just want to blindly eat a whole bunch of stuff so that there's at least some progress to see when I do step on that scale.  I know.  Not very scientific.  And probably counterproductive.

Some encouragement: tonight I went out to a social event and, for the first time in probably a year, wore a dress shirt that needed to be tucked in.  I could tell from the looks people who normally see me in a loose, untucked T-shirt were giving me that they were noticing how much more belly I've got now.  Even *I* was impressed by how well that shirt was showing off my roundness!

Anyway, since I've fallen waaay off the gaining wagon lately, I'm going to do some spreadsheet work and try to get my daily calories back up to around 4000....and then religiously stick to that intake long enough that it becomes my new normal.   Somehow I need to convince my metabolic "autopilot" to go along for the ride.  I hope simple repetition and routine and time will be enough to set me on a path of perpetual weight gain.  I know a gain of two pounds a week isn't nearly as exciting as big short-term gains where the changes are immediate and noticeable but in the long run even a small gain... every single week for months or years...is going to add up.

Interesting too, to see how the poll is progressing.  For the first 50 votes or so, it was almost a perfect Bell curve with a gain to 260 being the most popular choice.  Now, after over 80 votes, it seems a slim majority of people who took the poll think I should just keep going past 300 pounds.   Again, I admit I'm extraordinarly intrigued by the idea of gaining up to...and then past.. the 300 pound mark.  I have a hard time imagining what it would be like to be a hundred and ten pounds heavier than I am now.  I know physically I would be a LOT bigger.    And I suspect that, based on how positive I'm feeling about the mass I've already gained, that I would be right at home in my much bigger body.