September 30, 2023.

Yup.  It's been a long, long time.  Mea culpa.  

I'm pretty much the same weight and size as I was three years ago.  Clearly I'm a poster child for doing everything right and still not getting results and it definitely lends credence to the idea that our bodies have a size they like to be at and trying to get fatter or skinnier is met with resistance.  Honestly, I've been eating a crazy amount of food over the past few years and the needle on the scale hardly budges.  I know of folks who are on extreme diets trying to lose weight...different side of the same coin. 

Anyway this isn't a sob story post embracing failure or giving up.  

I'm back to actively gaining again and this time I've reached out for and looped in a number of folks whom I hope will keep me on track when my commitment fizzles. 

On the advice of a friend, I've also added a smoothie every day just before bed: coconut cream, almond butter, and chocolate almond milk, to the tune of about 1300 calories a shot.  It sounds disgusting but because of the sweetness and strong cocoa flavour of the almond milk, it's palatable and my system's tolerating it far better than anything I've ever tried that included dairy products.   Also news: over the past couple of years I discovered that not only can I not eat anything with gluten in it, but also that I feel one hell of a lot better physically and mentally when I don't eat anything with dairy in it either.  No explanation as to why.  I just know what I feel, and what I feel is so much better than I ever did when I was eating dairy and gluten. 

As you can imagine, this vastly cuts down on my ability to overindulge (fast food is out of the question) and I've got a fairly limited diet of one solid meal with meat, veggies, etc., lunch and lots of snacks at work, a big serving of rice, and one of these shakes.  I'm aiming for about 4300 calories per day and although I've only been on this regimen for a few weeks, I'm already seeing results.   

Here's to hoping that I'm finally on the right path.