25 April 2011

So a status update:

Sadly, I'm down to 196 pounds. It seems weird to say "down to" 196, seeing as most of my life I've been working upward toward such a grand number. And over the last few months I've really gotten accustomed to being this big. It just feels natural now (whereas before anything over about 185 felt awkward because I just wasn't yet used to how my body mass was changing)

On the plus side, I've only dropped down a few pounds and should be able to make up for lost time.

I started tonight by eating a somewhat huge Easter dinner. If past experience proves correct, I should be able to gain very easily back up to 202 or so. The body does seem to remember (and... in my case apparently...quite enjoy) getting fatter.

I know I've been all over the map on this one but I've decided to move in baby steps because that's really what seems to be working. Small gains that add up to a much bigger gain (with periods of small losses when life gets busy). Much like a glacier, even though it's going slowly and even sometimes backwards, still there IS progress being made.

And looking at my latest profile picture, I know I want to fill out that belly and lose that flatness around the navel. I figure a steady, constant gain is the ticket (2 lbs a week or so).

I know that doesn't seem like a lot (even to me) but I also don't want to get into the whole binge eating, getting sick, and then walking away from it for months. I really have had the most success with slow steady gains. And really, in the end, what sticks around is what matters.

Also, if you do the math, 2 lbs a week, steadily for a year, works out to 104 lbs (for a total of 300 lbs)

Not sure if I ever want to be 300 lbs though. There is a point at which quality of life becomes an issue when you get too fat and I don't want to cross that line.

My best estimate for the size I want to be is about 250 lbs total. For a guy 5'6", that translates into being quite round indeed. I also intend to start a workout program which hopefully will help my belly be rounder and firmer than perhaps it would be if I were to simply sit around and let nature take its course.

Short term goal: 205 lbs. That will be a gain of 9 pounds (and three pounds heavier than I've ever been). After that I'm hoping to capture pictures of every five pounds after that (every two to three weeks if all goes according to plan) to show a smooth progression of me fattening up.

Wish me luck! This has turned out to be much harder than I ever thought it would be.

Every time I look at how fat I've already become (though I freely admit I'm not really that fat...yet), I think: TOTALLY worth it!