23 November

So it' s Sunday morning. I actually have an entire day off and I think I'm going to spend it improving myself.

The goal today is to consume at least 3500 cals over what I need for basic maintenance (theoretically this should put one more pound of bulk onto me). I don't want to go much past that because I know from experience that overwhelming the system can be...um...messy.

So I'm measuring everything I eat, starting from midnight last night to midnight tonight. It's a little anal retentive and I know I won't be able to know exactly the values of everything but I hope I will at least get a general idea of things.

I won't bore you with the details (food diaries, much like workout diaries can be tedious to read) but suffice to say I've got a quart of heavy cream on board and a variety of other calorie-dense delights...

My thinking is that after a good binge today, that belly of mine will really start to round out. So far it's thickening up nicely but still soft. I think I'm still all stretched out from the last time I was pushing 190 (187 lbs, last year).

There is a blissful state that is hard to describe...but I'll try. Anyone who has gained on purpose will know this sensation: I can actually feel the point at which I have gained weight to my previous heaviest weight. After that, my belly starts to get denser and denser until the skin feels tight. If I keep overeating (especially a lot and over a short period of time - a really fast gain), my belly goes from the sort of flat paunch that you see in my most recent photo here to quite round. If I keep going even further with the gain, I swear I can actually feel the skin stretching, especially around my navel but also on my love handles. It's a weird kind of itch that foretells stretch marks.

Even as I sit here typing this I can sense that I'm really close to this tipping point. The skin around my navel is still just barely flat and I know I'll be really entering new territory when I can run my hand down my belly and that subtle flatness is replaced by a gentle outward curve.

I think one more day of good eating will do it...and I'll be sure to post the results...