9 January 2009

Well, I've been eating as much as I can and it's showing.

I think I'm about back to where I was before all hell broke loose in early December. My belly is starting to feel tight again, as are my love handles. I take that as a sign that I'm getting close to my all time high weight.

I'm still a little in the dark about my actual weight. I think I need to get a new scale because the one I currently have is kind of a rip off. I thought I was buying a digital scale. And it is, sort of. The readout is red digital numbers, however, the mechanics of the the scale itself are old school. It sounds exactly the same as my former, non digital scale when I step on it (I can hear the springs or flywheel or whatever device that's in there moving).

But that being said, I'm really starting to round out again. I'm going for a sustained, moderate gain right now. Things have quieted down enough workwise to enable this, however, I just don't quite have the time to really pig out and crash for a few days.

I am feeling motivated right now. When I lost that weight in December it felt like I lost a piece of myself (and I guess, literally, I had). Gaining the weight back feels like coming home, like I'm making myself right again.

But I know I'm not quite there yet. I look at myself in the mirror and, even though I've got a good start at a belly, I feel that I'll look and feel so much better when I'm fatter.

In the last entry I referenced a guy whose picture I'd seen that blew my socks off. I don't think it's ethical to post his picture here (I don't have rights to it) but he's currently the topic of "My Gain" on the Bellybuilders messageboard.

I know this sounds kind of sad to compare, but some of his later shots (Page 4 or 5 of the thread)...that's where I want to be. I'm not sure what weight that will be for me (he says he's 215lbs there but I estimate him to be about 5 '11" based on a reference he made to his weight and BMI).

So to further myself toward that goal, I'm just going to keep eating and eating.

I'll post more pictures once I start making some forward progress (I didn't see much point posting pictures of me losing ground)...