Saturday, May 9, 2015

9 May 2015

And...I'm back...

And sadly to say not much has changed.  I'm still maintaining at a bit over 200 pounds.  I'm still eating what I consider to be crazy amounts of high fat, high carbohydrate food but am burning it off about as quickly as I eat it.  I was actually slowly losing weight in March/April until I got a bump from being off the work floor for a few weeks in classes, etc.and managed to gain about five pounds back.  And I guess to be fair, it's been a hellishly hectic time at work, as well as at home.  I have big hopes for the summer, especially since I've been able to wrangle a few weeks off.  More time to eat, less actual work being done should = some extra pounds.

That being said, I really DO have to start getting creative about gaining over the long term.  I'm either going to have to seriously 'up' my efforts with getting sufficient calories into me to start making progress or else I'm going to have to start taking it easier at work.  I guess doing both would be ideal and I guess I need to figure out exactly how to do that.

I'm still holding out hope of being able to find someone locally who would be willing to help me out.  I've met some very nice people through Grommr, etc but so far haven't been able to connect with someone who's really willing to go 'there' with me and really get me gaining.  I kind of think at this point it's just a fantasy to expect anything like this to happen but, like I said, I still choose to have hope...


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

18 February 2015

So now that I'm back in the saddle with respect to gaining, I admit I find myself wondering just how much further I could push myself...or I guess more correctly BE pushed...if I could connect with someone who would be willing to take me on as a 'project' and be aggressive about getting me to fatten up fast.

I know I've put out feelers for encouragers before and I definitely have a good working relationship with a few guys locally, but sometimes I find myself wishing there was someone out there who would be willing to help me take my gain to the extreme.

Imagine how much good even one solid feeding session a week would do...

Monday, February 16, 2015

16 February 2015

Eating...and eating...and eating...

It's paying off.  I'm feeling bigger around than I have for quite awhile.

Yesterday I had to run about six blocks and was utterly astounded at how much mass there is now in my belly and just how much different it feels now to run any distance at all.  To say that I'm getting jiggly is an understatement.

For right now I'm not really counting calories; I'm off the spreadsheet and basically back to eating as much as I can as often as I can without overdoing it. Spending lots at the grocery store lately but it's totally worth it.

Still working on gaining a couple of pounds a week during the spring and then leveling out again for the summer when stuff gets busy again.  I figure this will also give myself time to get used to being so much bigger.  Gaining 25 pounds over a few months might not seem like much to some people but for me, it's a big deal.  Gaining is an intense process - I've found that if I go too far, too fast, it's easy to get overwhelmed.  Even slow and steady gaining I'm doing is causing astonishing changes to what I look like and how my body moves. So far I'm enjoying the changes A LOT but I don't want to take it too far, too fast, and end up making myself sick either.

There will be a day, of this I am certain, that I'm going to tip the scales at 300 pounds +.  It might take me a stupidly long time to get there, but then, I can still remember a few years ago when I thought 200 pounds + might be unattainable!


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

11 February 2015

And so...I'm back...after a particularly terrible Christmas season.  Terrible for reasons I won't get into, though I have to say there wasn't anything specifically bad.  It was just a big batch of 'meh' mixed in with too much work, too little sleep, a LOT of conflict (not my own fortunately) and not even close to enough time to eat.

From my last blog post in November until now, I dropped down to 195 (late December) and have managed to claw my way back up to 205.

I'm back down to part time hours as of a few weeks ago and this is what's making the difference.

I'm filling back out again and it feels REALLY good to be getting heavier again.

Working on a somewhat moderate timeline at this point: about five pounds a month.  Looking to be about 230 by the summertime.  I'm planning a trip to visit my family - won't have seen any of them for quite awhile by then.  Last they saw me I was in the high 180s and am expecting some comments about my (hopefully) 50 pound gain.

Anyway, not much else to report and certainly nothing photograph worthy right now.