November 19, 2017

So this is me at 216 pounds.  I took this picture yesterday.  I really LOVE how fat I am already at such a comparatively light weight.  Just seeing this picture makes me realize how crazy much bigger I'm going to get because I've still got more than 80 pounds to go before I hit my interim goal of 300 pounds. 

It's been really easy to gain lately because I was off work.  I've started back effective last week and there is a ton of exercise involved.  I'm going to have to be diligent and creative about keeping the weight I have, as well as finding ways to continue to get bigger.

I'll keep you posted...

12 October 2017

Hit 210 last night and feeling freaking enormous already.  It's awesome.

7 October 2017

Still 209.  For now.

Drove out to some friends' house for Thanksgiving dinner.  Ended up missing it by about an hour due to a miscommunication about the time.  It was still good - all the food was out and there was a ton of leftovers...which of course I liberally helped myself to.

I had a bit of a crisis beforehand because I've gained so much weight that none of my pants fit me anymore.  I was ashamed to have to show up wearing track pants to a holiday dinner but that being said, when I got there it was an utter chaos of their extended family, kids running around etc.

Many folks were already quite a few cups into their adult beverages and my host was higher than a kite.

I guess my point is: ain't nobody was looking at, or caring about what I was wearing. 

Looks like I'm going pants shopping on Tuesday.

6 October 2017

And...209 pounds as of today.  I'm slowing down my rate of gain slightly just to allow myself to adjust to the changes.  Even 15 pounds seems to really alter the way I move and balance.

That being said, still moving onward and upward...

1 October 2017

208 pounds as of today.  I'm so freaking happy to have discovered a way to consistently gain in a way that doesn't end up making me sick to my stomach.

Looking at my record the past week or so, I'm currently gaining a half a pound per day.  This might not seem much but a consistent gain rate like this, if I am able to keep it up, will get me to where I need to be weight-wise, and likely sooner than expected.

I'm SO happy right now.

29 September 2017

Gainer shakes...what an amazing concept.  I've finally found something that works and that does not clog up my plumbing like xanthan gum and carrageenan tend to do.

It's a somewhat nightmarish concoction of cereal cream (18%, just milk and cream with no stabilizers), sweetened condensed milk (a ton of sugar with milk), and pasteurized liquid whole egg.

I don't recommend this for the faint of heart and in truth I have no idea what this much fat and sugar are doing to my circulatory system etc.  The one saving grace is that this is only a temporary dietary change - I won't be eating like this forever, as well as the fact that I'm backing it up with a regular amount of nutritious meals and exercise...exercise that I plan to increase once I'm happy with my size and can figure out the balance between eating enough to staying that fat and exercising enough to stay healthy.

These shakes pack a real whallop when it comes to getting extra calories and judging by how I'm feeling after a couple of weeks of drinking them, I think they're the answer I've been looking for

Yesterday I was able to augment my total daily intake by 3500 calories - this on top of all of my regular eating, snacks, etc.  I estimate I consumed about 5500 calories total in a single day.  For me this is a huge improvement as I usually end up making myself super sick to my stomach and then stop the gain for long enough that I end up dropping a ton of weight and end up near a "normal" BMI again.

If I can continue supplementing enough calories with these shakes that I can cover my basic caloric needs for the day, literally every extra single thing I eat during that day will become fat.

Ideally, if I am able to get to the point that I am consistently consuming 6500 calories a day (and yesterday I was within one serving of shake of doing this), I will gain a pound every single day.   While I know this is extreme,  I've seen others who were successfully able to gain over 100 pounds in a short period of time this way.  I know this will be hard on my body - I'm expecting it and preparing for it as best I can.  I'm ready to be as big as I reasonably can get and I'm prepared to do what it takes to achieve this. 

Added bonus: every day I find I am able to drink a bit more of this shake without feeling too logy to function - it feels almost as though I'm in training as my body gets used to dealing with the onslaught of extra calories.

And it's showing...yesterday a friend jokingly asked me if I was pregnant, because yes, my stomach is stretching out the front of my shirt in a way that's impossible to hide now (not that I'd want to); it's clear to anyone who looks at me that I'm getting fat.

27 September 2017

I am now within five pounds of my all time highest weight and I can really feel it in the way my stomach is so round and tight and how my love handles are starting to stick way out.  I LOVE this sensation.

Pushing past my all time high is going to bring some interesting changes, not the least of which - I'm sure - will be some epic stretch marks.

Totally worth it if it means I'm on track for those big gains that will get me where I need to be.

Gaining hard at time when I'm not expending a lot of energy working means I'm getting fat - fast - in all the right places.

Weighed myself after breakfast and am officially 206 pounds.  For now.  By this time next week, at the rate I'm gaining, I expect to be somewhere just shy of 210.

26 September 2017

And...I'm back.  Again.

Took the summer off and traveled out to Ontario and then took a rather epic canoe trip.  With all the activity, smaller meals, and less chances to top up my daily caloric intake, I ended up losing weight.

Came back in August at about 195 pounds.  Went back to work for about six weeks of light duty (long story, would make you angry-sad to hear it and even if it didn't, it'd make me angry-sad to recount it here so I'm not going to) and I am now off work for the time being.

What I've discovered is that two of the biggest things hindering my gaining were my spouse (kind of on board but not really "getting" why I'd want to be fat) and my extremely labour intensive job.

My spouse and I separated in May and I now live alone and have full autonomy over what's in the fridge.  I also am no longer get questioned as to the weird concoctions I drink in order to gain.  Right now, in case you're curious, it's a mixture of sweetened condensed milk and cereal cream.  It tastes as disgusting as you'd think but I can keep it down...and it's doing magical things for my waistline.

The other hindrance is my intensely calorie burning job....which I'm not doing right now.  Combine this with the nearly two months of light duty (literally standing in one place for an entire shift) and the fact that I'm making a point of overeating at every meal and adding high fat/high carbohydrate "shakes" into the times in between meals...the gaining process is in high gear right now.

I've put on ten pounds since August and, at 205, my stomach is re-assuming that pleasing, round firmness that I love so much.

And looking here at how much bigger I was at 211 pounds...I can't wait to see what it's going to be like as I push past my previous high and really start to get big.

My plan is to keep gaining at a rate of 8-10 pounds a month.  I honestly think I can keep it up, even after I go back to work because this translates to about 2.5 pounds gained per week.  Although this will result in a dramatic looking gain of over 100 pounds in a year, I think I can handle it.   I'm not sure the people around me are going to be so easy-going about it but I'm to the point that I've really stopped caring about other people's ideas of how I should live my life.

So long as I am able to manage to do my job as well as still be able to do the things that bring joy to my life, I'm going keep getting bigger.

27 May 2017

And...I'm back.  Hopefully for good.  It's been a year.  I'll leave it at that because I could devote an entire blog just to the stuff that's happened over the past 18 months or so.

Salient fact: having just ended an 18 year relationship, I am now currently single.  I'm not saying this in an effort to find a date or a new partner.  Right now at least I'm content with reorganizing this house (finally!) into a way that works for me and for all the hobbies, etc. that I'm into.  I spend a part of every day breathing a sigh of relief that the clutter is gone, that the unhappiness and frustration has left for greener pastures, and savoring the utter quiet of not having a television and/or cell phone games blaring for 12 hours a day.   There is something extremely valuable about silence.

Added bonus: I now have full control of the fridge and everything in it.  No gluten shall cross the threshold of this house ever again.  I can use all of the kitchen counters with no fear of wheat crumbs finding their way into my food.

And now I can seriously start experimenting with gainer shakes.  I can mix up large quantities to leave in the fridge without anyone questioning what the hell I think I'm doing.

Right now toying with pasturized whole egg product mixed with dairy.  Going to start small with that one and work my way up as I have no idea how eating that much fat in one sitting will affect me.

I'm also making double batches of cookies and freezing half for later consumption - it helps to have them conveniently close at hand.

The idea is to work up to a regular diet of 5,000 calories per day and see where this takes me.

Currently at around 200 pounds.