2009 September 23

Oh I've been a baaad boy. It's been more than a month since my last post and for that I do apologise.

I managed to acquire some new hardware (recent model laptop that was cheap). Hmm. That makes it sound like I bought stolen goods. I didn't. You'll just have to trust me on this.

Not sure how I'm liking this keyboard but I'm happy for the privacy. I have a feeling I'm going to be posting much more frequently.

So updates...let's see. I've managed to regain all the weight I lost over the summer. I'm back to where I was in the Spring. Now this may sound like not much progress but actually it is. Usually in September I'm sitting at about 180 lbs and then work to gain from there. This year I'm at a comfortable 190 lbs (this does seem to be the new default that I keep coming back to - I guess getting older is useful in some ways other than just experience!).

I know this sounds like the same old song played over and over again but, like, holy crap...I'm bound and determined to beat this 200 lb mark. This year *has* to be the year. It's getting ridiculous. Last winter I was close...really close...at 196 and then stuff happened and well...like I said, same old story different day.

The weight I've managed to hang onto has settled very solidly around my middle. Even down in the low 180's I still kept most of my belly and there's no question that I'm consistently being fatter.

I really do like the way things are shaping up and now that it's cooling off (gaining in hot weather sucks, which is why I usually fall off the bandwagon in the summertime) I'm gearing up for a new season of gaining.

I've developed a fairly complicated spreadsheet with calorie/fat/carb/protein values for many of the things I eat everyday. I'm trying to get equal fat/protein with increased carbs. This has worked well in the past for me.

What I like best about the spreadsheet is that everything is all linked together. I plug in what I ate (or plan to eat) and it calculates, based on my present weight, how much I need to eat to maintain what I've got. As I put in different values (example 20 almonds instead of 10) it tells me how many extra calories I've taken in and there's a calculation to show how much I stand to gain as a result.

Using this I can actually plan my eating for the day for optimum gain. I know it sounds anal but if I just adopt the "eat until you drop" mode, I find I binge for a few days and then feel so sick that I don't each much for the next few days and end up not gaining anything. Slow and steady is what works, at least for me.

So right now I've got it set for 4000 calories per day. If I eat that much, every day, I will gain a pound every three days. That's 10 pounds in a month. That means, even accounting for the fact that if I continue to just eat 4000 calories every day (gaining less as I get fatter because the heavier you are the more calories you burn), I will reach my target weight of 250 lbs in 182 days or 6 months.

If I bump it up just 500 cals to 4500 calories per day, I'm looking at approximately 4 months. 5000 calories per day makes just over 3 months. At 7500 calories per day I could be there in as little as 6 weeks. 10,000 a day would get me there in 29 days. Just on a lark, I typed in 33,000 calories which is, from a documentary I saw a little while ago, the daily average intake for three super morbidly obese people. If I followed that diet, I would gain that 60 pounds in just a week. I'd probably also be dead because I suspect one really has to work up to those numbers just in terms of stretching out one's stomach capacity. And, I honestly don't know how a single human can digest that quantity of food every day.

I know I can't. Last year I made it my goal to eat 5000 calories in a single day. It was a stretch for me (I'm still a total lightweight) but I managed it. I don't think I could have done it five days in a row at that point. Let alone numbers in the 5 digits.

But really objectively looking at what I need to eat in a day is helping me conceptualize and pace myself.

So anyway...the journey begins...again....

5 August 2009

So we took a trip to a hot and dusty place (35C+ during the day and about 25C at night). Worked my butt off, literally. Came home and much to my chagrin, discovered I'm down to 185lbs.

I am *not* happy. I *am*, however, eating like crazy to catch up.

I'll keep you posted.

20 July 2009

So I guess it's not as bad as all that - I'm at 190 lbs currently. Not much gain but not much lost either.

I'm going away for a few weeks - lots of activity, walking, heavy work. Not sure how it will impact things. I'm going to try and eat as much as I can so as to minimize the "damage".

But, like I said before, I find it much harder to gain in the summer. The heat and humidity make it hard to really eat. I porked out a couple of weeks ago and felt like I was going to die....a little bit anyway.

So, "maintain" is the word of the day...

6 July 2009

Yes, I've been bad about posting to the blog. Seems like summertime gets so busy with the longer days and warmer weather.

I'm afraid it's going to be slim pickings here for awhile. October, November, that seems to be when the "gainer bug" really hits. Also, the days get shorter, there's less to do, more time to blog.

Update so far: not much since the last post. I may be the worst gainer ever. On the plus side, I've lost very little (if any) weight. I feel slimmer but the scale doesn't lie. I think I'm just getting used to being fatter.

So in a way that's progress of a kind. Usually by this time of summer I'm back down below 180 because I get busy and forget to eat. I figure if I can at least maintain what I've done over the winter, I should be set up well for the coming gaining year.

1 June 2009

Well talk about a hot gaining moment...

This week we installed security cameras where I work and for the first time I was able to get a good look at myself as other people see me - from all angles and from a distance.

I had no idea much I've gained, truly, until that point. I mean, it's like I was seeing progress here and there, bigger belly, thighs, etc. but never really put it all together until I saw the footage and it's like "there's a guy with some weight on him".

I'm not exactly what you'd call huge...yet...but I'm definitely not what you'd call skinny anymore. And while I see how much I've gained, I'm getting a pretty good idea of how much farther I need to go.

I've been lazy the last little while. I was 196 but I've dropped back down to 192. It seems I really have to focus on eating more. I'm not sure if a structured diet would help. I mean, it would help, but I'm not sure how disciplined I would be at following it.

On the plus side, I'm about to come into some money - it should impact my eating habits (ie. I'll be able to afford more than beans and rice...)

11 May 2009

196 pounds!

I could tell I was getting fatter this week but I had no idea it was this much...

I can't even express how indescribably good I feel right now.

10 May 2009

So I'm back to actively gaining after a few weeks of...well...not much.

After all I've eaten the last few days, I do believe I will be up to 193 lbs by tomorrow. I feel the familiar itch that says my belly is swelling again...

The plan now is to keep the momentum going, to consistently overeat by at least 500 calories every day. I'm planning to gain a pound a week (modest but much more do-able than a dramatically fast gain). Recently I've discovered McDonald's chocolate shakes. 1200 cals of fat and sugar for about three dollars...who could ask for more?

I've given it a lot of thought and have decided to aim for 250 lbs. I've looked at pictures of other guys about my height and think the ones who are around 250 are what I want to look like: chunky all over with a big round belly.

Even though right now I'm fatter than I've ever been in my life, I feel so skinny.

When I run my hands over my belly, I can feel how much more solid it's getting, how it's starting to rest on the tops of my thighs when I sit, and how it's really starting to make itself known when I try to bend over to pick stuff up...but still, I try to imagine what it's going to be like, what my whole body's going to be like, after I gain more than 50 pounds.

A very long time ago, in my early twenties, I weighed about 130 lbs. I can see the incredible diffrerence putting on that first fifty pounds has made (people who knew me in college don't recognize me now). I know the next fifty is going to be equally dramatic. I am simultaneously very excited thinking about this but also, somewhere very deep inside of me feels that this is just so *right*. The heavier I get, the more I feel like I'm becoming what I was supposed to be all along...