So I'm back up to 185...well, the scale seems to be flipping between 184 and 186 so I'm averaging it out.
All I know is that I'm definitely starting to pack it back on again. Feeling solider than I have in awhile and the old belly's starting to round out in a way that's comforting and yet motivating.
Off to eat some more...
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
11 September 2011
Argh...
I honestly can't remember ever feeling this full and bloated...and excited!
I'm already up two pounds (though some of it food/bloat). Had an absolutely mindblowing time last night. I met up with another gainer and after talking for awhile, we got down to business. I don't think I've ever managed to eat as much as I did in one sitting last night. And we kept it up all night. Right now I feel like a snake who's eaten a rabbit and as bloated as I feel, I just want to keep eating so I can keep up the momentum!
It really *does* make a difference having someone there, cajoling and nagging you to have "just one more bite". And this guy knows what he's talking about - he's about my height but absolutely huge (300+)....and a freaking eating machine. I can only hope to be as big someday.
This experience has convinced me that a) if this guy can get as big as he as as quickly as he says he has, then there's hope for me...even if I take longer, I can still get up into the big numbers weightwise; b) looking at him, I can see myself getting bigger than I ever thought was possible and still having a life; c)it really, really helps to have someone there cheering you on.
All I can say is "thanks" and let's do this again sometime very soon!
And now...back to bed...to sleep and wake up just a little fatter than I was yesterday...
I honestly can't remember ever feeling this full and bloated...and excited!
I'm already up two pounds (though some of it food/bloat). Had an absolutely mindblowing time last night. I met up with another gainer and after talking for awhile, we got down to business. I don't think I've ever managed to eat as much as I did in one sitting last night. And we kept it up all night. Right now I feel like a snake who's eaten a rabbit and as bloated as I feel, I just want to keep eating so I can keep up the momentum!
It really *does* make a difference having someone there, cajoling and nagging you to have "just one more bite". And this guy knows what he's talking about - he's about my height but absolutely huge (300+)....and a freaking eating machine. I can only hope to be as big someday.
This experience has convinced me that a) if this guy can get as big as he as as quickly as he says he has, then there's hope for me...even if I take longer, I can still get up into the big numbers weightwise; b) looking at him, I can see myself getting bigger than I ever thought was possible and still having a life; c)it really, really helps to have someone there cheering you on.
All I can say is "thanks" and let's do this again sometime very soon!
And now...back to bed...to sleep and wake up just a little fatter than I was yesterday...
Friday, September 9, 2011
9 September 2011
Hello everyone...
Let me start this post by acknowledging that I may perhaps be the worst blogger on the face of the planet...followed closely by being the worst gainer around.
I accepted a temporary job up north and have been living completely "off the grid" since June. My living situation was such that I really didn't have regular (or, more importantly, PRIVATE) access to the internet. Food was so darned expensive...and not much variety...and much of it off limits to me (dietary restrictions)...that although I tried, I couldn't keep up the pace. I also worked my butt off (literally).
So I traded 20 pounds and three months of my life for a wad of money and a tan.
It's weird though - I still have more of a belly now at 182 than I did the last time I was this light. I appear to have lost fat from other places on my body more. Proportionately, I still look pretty big (or perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part).
All I know is that I take solace in the fact that my belly still pushes my t-shirt out.
So, anyway, although it appears I'm doomed to continually gain, lose, and gain again the same freaking 20 pounds, I'm going to keep trying.
Words of encouragement most definitely welcome.
Let me start this post by acknowledging that I may perhaps be the worst blogger on the face of the planet...followed closely by being the worst gainer around.
I accepted a temporary job up north and have been living completely "off the grid" since June. My living situation was such that I really didn't have regular (or, more importantly, PRIVATE) access to the internet. Food was so darned expensive...and not much variety...and much of it off limits to me (dietary restrictions)...that although I tried, I couldn't keep up the pace. I also worked my butt off (literally).
So I traded 20 pounds and three months of my life for a wad of money and a tan.
It's weird though - I still have more of a belly now at 182 than I did the last time I was this light. I appear to have lost fat from other places on my body more. Proportionately, I still look pretty big (or perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part).
All I know is that I take solace in the fact that my belly still pushes my t-shirt out.
So, anyway, although it appears I'm doomed to continually gain, lose, and gain again the same freaking 20 pounds, I'm going to keep trying.
Words of encouragement most definitely welcome.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
15 May 2011
Still at 198lbs. Got a rather intensively physical job and after a week of doing it, have actually lost some flab but gained some muscle. My belly's a little flatter - I'm going to have to start eating more or I'm going to start going backwards...
Friday, April 29, 2011
29 April 2011
After almost of week of eating extra meals and snacks, my belly's firming up and starting to round out and feel tight again.
Just weighed myself: 198 pounds and counting (upward)...
Just weighed myself: 198 pounds and counting (upward)...
Sunday, April 24, 2011
25 April 2011
So a status update:
Sadly, I'm down to 196 pounds. It seems weird to say "down to" 196, seeing as most of my life I've been working upward toward such a grand number. And over the last few months I've really gotten accustomed to being this big. It just feels natural now (whereas before anything over about 185 felt awkward because I just wasn't yet used to how my body mass was changing)
On the plus side, I've only dropped down a few pounds and should be able to make up for lost time.
I started tonight by eating a somewhat huge Easter dinner. If past experience proves correct, I should be able to gain very easily back up to 202 or so. The body does seem to remember (and... in my case apparently...quite enjoy) getting fatter.
I know I've been all over the map on this one but I've decided to move in baby steps because that's really what seems to be working. Small gains that add up to a much bigger gain (with periods of small losses when life gets busy). Much like a glacier, even though it's going slowly and even sometimes backwards, still there IS progress being made.
And looking at my latest profile picture, I know I want to fill out that belly and lose that flatness around the navel. I figure a steady, constant gain is the ticket (2 lbs a week or so).
I know that doesn't seem like a lot (even to me) but I also don't want to get into the whole binge eating, getting sick, and then walking away from it for months. I really have had the most success with slow steady gains. And really, in the end, what sticks around is what matters.
Also, if you do the math, 2 lbs a week, steadily for a year, works out to 104 lbs (for a total of 300 lbs)
Not sure if I ever want to be 300 lbs though. There is a point at which quality of life becomes an issue when you get too fat and I don't want to cross that line.
My best estimate for the size I want to be is about 250 lbs total. For a guy 5'6", that translates into being quite round indeed. I also intend to start a workout program which hopefully will help my belly be rounder and firmer than perhaps it would be if I were to simply sit around and let nature take its course.
Short term goal: 205 lbs. That will be a gain of 9 pounds (and three pounds heavier than I've ever been). After that I'm hoping to capture pictures of every five pounds after that (every two to three weeks if all goes according to plan) to show a smooth progression of me fattening up.
Wish me luck! This has turned out to be much harder than I ever thought it would be.
Every time I look at how fat I've already become (though I freely admit I'm not really that fat...yet), I think: TOTALLY worth it!
Sadly, I'm down to 196 pounds. It seems weird to say "down to" 196, seeing as most of my life I've been working upward toward such a grand number. And over the last few months I've really gotten accustomed to being this big. It just feels natural now (whereas before anything over about 185 felt awkward because I just wasn't yet used to how my body mass was changing)
On the plus side, I've only dropped down a few pounds and should be able to make up for lost time.
I started tonight by eating a somewhat huge Easter dinner. If past experience proves correct, I should be able to gain very easily back up to 202 or so. The body does seem to remember (and... in my case apparently...quite enjoy) getting fatter.
I know I've been all over the map on this one but I've decided to move in baby steps because that's really what seems to be working. Small gains that add up to a much bigger gain (with periods of small losses when life gets busy). Much like a glacier, even though it's going slowly and even sometimes backwards, still there IS progress being made.
And looking at my latest profile picture, I know I want to fill out that belly and lose that flatness around the navel. I figure a steady, constant gain is the ticket (2 lbs a week or so).
I know that doesn't seem like a lot (even to me) but I also don't want to get into the whole binge eating, getting sick, and then walking away from it for months. I really have had the most success with slow steady gains. And really, in the end, what sticks around is what matters.
Also, if you do the math, 2 lbs a week, steadily for a year, works out to 104 lbs (for a total of 300 lbs)
Not sure if I ever want to be 300 lbs though. There is a point at which quality of life becomes an issue when you get too fat and I don't want to cross that line.
My best estimate for the size I want to be is about 250 lbs total. For a guy 5'6", that translates into being quite round indeed. I also intend to start a workout program which hopefully will help my belly be rounder and firmer than perhaps it would be if I were to simply sit around and let nature take its course.
Short term goal: 205 lbs. That will be a gain of 9 pounds (and three pounds heavier than I've ever been). After that I'm hoping to capture pictures of every five pounds after that (every two to three weeks if all goes according to plan) to show a smooth progression of me fattening up.
Wish me luck! This has turned out to be much harder than I ever thought it would be.
Every time I look at how fat I've already become (though I freely admit I'm not really that fat...yet), I think: TOTALLY worth it!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
20 December 2010
So I'm back after a fairly long break. I make no apologies - life gets busy and takes priority over hobbies such as this. At any rate, here's what's happened since the last time I posted: I sprained my ankle, came down with a case of plantar fasciitis (which still plagues me), lost nine pounds in one month and then gained back twelve over the next month and a half.
I now weigh a hefty 202 lbs (and gaining) and it appears my skinny days are well and truly over. I can't lose weight even if I wanted to - or if I do, I just balloon back up as fat as I was before...and then some. ...Which is okay. I'd be horrified if being fat scared me. My only concern is for my health which, with the exception of nagging heel pain, is still good in spite of being "obese class 1".
I am very much enjoying becoming a "fattie". It's impossible not to notice my belly - even when I suck it in. People are making more and more comments about how fat I'm getting (oddly, usually it's people who are as fat or fatter than me). I take every one as a compliment and as a sign that I'm making progress. I'm still not sure how fat I want to get. It's getting easier and easier to raise the bar now that I've got the belly for good. I can still remember, a long time ago, when the possibility of being 200 lbs seemed impossibly huge to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
