13 January 2014

Happy belated New Year, all!

I think I'm finally starting to recover from the Christmas season.  Back to regular work hours and definitely seeing a time when things won't be quite so confusing and hectic all around.

Back up to 197...as always, the weight seems to return pretty easily.

The push now is to spend my "extra" time eating a few more meals and getting enough sleep.

Otherwise not much new to report...

24 December 2013

Well, merry whatever you want to celebrate...

The very worst of it is over at work - headed for a much more relaxed schedule after today.  Which is good because the stress level there was redlining and I was fully expecting a fistfight to break out yesterday.

And it was funny this morning when I coworker...a woman a hardly know...rushed over to me and proclaimed she was worried I was working too hard because I've lost so much weight!  So I guess even other people are noticing.

I've GOT to get back on track...

23 December 2013

No, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth...I've been working.  Every single day since December 1st in fact. With overtime.  Doing a very strenuous job that requires a ton of fast walking and lightning quick repetitive lifting/tossing in an environment that at this time of year, most closely resembles a meat freezer (and no, I'm not complaining - they pay me fabulously for doing it)

In spite of the fact that I've been eating somewhere between 3500 and 4000 calories per day, I've managed to lose six pounds.  This month alone.   It's odd, because although I've lost a fair bit of body fat, I've still kept my belly...less fat there, but definitely a lot more abdominal muscle bulk underneath.  Now if I can just keep that muscle into the new year and regain the fat I've lost...should be quite impressive.

Anyway, this meat grinder of a schedule should come to an end in the next week or two.  I'm looking forward having some time off.  No plans for Christmas other than sleep. And having a chance to catch up on my gaining.  Because, seriously, if I was eating THIS much in an office job, I'd already be huge.  But I'm not quitting, because in spite of the super healthy amounts of exercise I'm getting (well, super healthy until, in my sleep deprived state, I wander into a forklift lane and the driver doesn't manage to swerve in time...) I like this place.  And the money I've made during this busy time will certainly pay for a LOT of extra snacks.

16 November 2013

I'm still hanging in there at 199, which is an accomplishment in itself considering how much extra energy I'm expending at work.  We're heading into our busy season and my job entails a lot of physical labour.  I know if I quit this and got an office job I'd be packing on the pounds left and right (especially with how much I'm eating!) but I really like my job now and am willing to trade off a slower gain in order to keep it.

At the *very* least, my goal, until Christmas anyway, is to maintain what I've gained.  If I can manage to keep gaining, even if it's ever so slowly, I'll consider that a "win" because at least I'm not losing ground.

Anyway, I'll keep you posted...

22 October 2013

So today I decided to play a little dress up with some creative use of some stretchy fabric, some modified t-shirts (resewn so they're tighter around the belly), a large garbage bag, and a belt.  Don't knock it - it's ridiculously simple and when slowly filled with warm water, renders an acceptably realistic belly.  

I'm not sure I'd ever want to leave the house wearing this (though I bet I could pass!) for fear of springing a leak, but it's definitely giving me an idea of what it's going to be like when my belly is *actually* this size.  

I figure I've simulated about a 40 pound weight gain from where I am now...on my belly anyways...and I have to say, I'm really enjoying how it feels!  I know my chest and arms will be a lot bigger as well once I reach that weight but I just couldn't be bothered to arrange all the extra padding needed for the look.  I did it once before and if I truly put on the fat where I'm guessing I will, I'm going to be short, massively solid dude. It's helping that I'm keeping up with the cardio and lifting weights.

Anyway, even just with this basic "dress up" I like the way my clothes fit completely differently, how much my t-shirt strains outward to accommodate my belly and pulls across the back and shoulders because of it.   How it feels to have that extra bulk resting on the tops of my thighs when I lean forward.  The overall general feeling of soft heaviness around my waist that doesn't go away no matter how much I suck in my gut.  How everything shifts and jiggles when I climb the stairs (I'm actually starting to feel that to a small degree already in real life but I imagine the sensation will be much magnified once there's more stuff there to jiggle).  Just being able to close my eyes, reach down to feel the smooth outward curve of my stomach and fool myself into thinking how much bigger I've become.  

All the eating until I'm almost sick of food.  All the times it's hard to sleep because I've overindulged and am bloated.  All the extra money spent keeping myself well supplied with treats to keep the easy calories coming. 

*This* is what I'm working towards.

20 October 2013

199 for the last few days.  As soon as I stop with the crazy amounts of food the gain stops dead as well.  That being said I'm delighted with result of the last few weeks of gaining.  I'm getting softer all over and the extra weight is definitely showing in places like my belly and chest.

I'm quickly approaching my highest all-time weight (202).

13 October 2013

Weighed myself today and discovered I'm up to a solid 197 lbs...and counting...