22 October 2013

So today I decided to play a little dress up with some creative use of some stretchy fabric, some modified t-shirts (resewn so they're tighter around the belly), a large garbage bag, and a belt.  Don't knock it - it's ridiculously simple and when slowly filled with warm water, renders an acceptably realistic belly.  

I'm not sure I'd ever want to leave the house wearing this (though I bet I could pass!) for fear of springing a leak, but it's definitely giving me an idea of what it's going to be like when my belly is *actually* this size.  

I figure I've simulated about a 40 pound weight gain from where I am now...on my belly anyways...and I have to say, I'm really enjoying how it feels!  I know my chest and arms will be a lot bigger as well once I reach that weight but I just couldn't be bothered to arrange all the extra padding needed for the look.  I did it once before and if I truly put on the fat where I'm guessing I will, I'm going to be short, massively solid dude. It's helping that I'm keeping up with the cardio and lifting weights.

Anyway, even just with this basic "dress up" I like the way my clothes fit completely differently, how much my t-shirt strains outward to accommodate my belly and pulls across the back and shoulders because of it.   How it feels to have that extra bulk resting on the tops of my thighs when I lean forward.  The overall general feeling of soft heaviness around my waist that doesn't go away no matter how much I suck in my gut.  How everything shifts and jiggles when I climb the stairs (I'm actually starting to feel that to a small degree already in real life but I imagine the sensation will be much magnified once there's more stuff there to jiggle).  Just being able to close my eyes, reach down to feel the smooth outward curve of my stomach and fool myself into thinking how much bigger I've become.  

All the eating until I'm almost sick of food.  All the times it's hard to sleep because I've overindulged and am bloated.  All the extra money spent keeping myself well supplied with treats to keep the easy calories coming. 

*This* is what I'm working towards.