15 December 2012

...And one of the benefits of eating so much chocolate is that I'm in a much better mood than I would be, ordinarily.  I consider myself lucky that I'm not sensitive to the stuff like some people.  I have a coworker who swears that chocolate causes migraines and wonders how I could eat so much of it.  I guess it's a little bonus for me, considering how many truly awful things happen when I eat other things that don't appear to cause any harm to "normal" people (ak! gluten!). 

I've also noticed that a lot of the lunchtime conversation appears to be, at least lately anyway, revolving around food issues (mostly about how my female coworkers are chagrined about gaining weight).  I don't really hang around women a lot outside of work - I'm not sure if this is normal lunch time talk, or if this is some kind of subtle message they're trying to convey to me that they're noticing my own weight gain and this is how they're trying to broach the topic with me.  I've just noticed the topic seems to be coming up more often as I'm getting heavier...though I could just be oversensitive to it right now, that maybe this has been a common theme in the conversation all along, and only now am I just noticing.  Overall, I'm kind of an insensitive ass and my response when the topic of weight comes up is to simply offer them some of my chocolate.

Anyhoo...the gain is being incredibly slow considering the sheer number of calories I'm eating every day.  Even the fat-augmented shakes aren't really having the impact I'd like just because of all the extra work I've been doing the last few weeks.  We're into the Numero Uno busiest time of year at work right now and although I love the overtime pay, I'm not too keen on running off my feet while transporting heavy loads of product all over Hell's Half Acre.

I'm starting to think that after this job slows down (there's 50/50 odds in my mind that I could be laid off after Christmas...or at the very least, have my hours slashed to the point that I'm going to have to find a new job) that I'm going to look for something more sedentary.

Honestly, if I had a desk job and kept up with how much I'm currently eating, I'd be a LOT fatter already.  Probably not in as good shape though...and that's a balance point I have to be careful of because as soon as I start to feel unhealthy, I freak out and drop some weight.  I know it's completely possible to be heavy and healthy.  I just have to find the balance between being fat and still feeling all right.