So I guess it's not as bad as all that - I'm at 190 lbs currently. Not much gain but not much lost either.
I'm going away for a few weeks - lots of activity, walking, heavy work. Not sure how it will impact things. I'm going to try and eat as much as I can so as to minimize the "damage".
But, like I said before, I find it much harder to gain in the summer. The heat and humidity make it hard to really eat. I porked out a couple of weeks ago and felt like I was going to die....a little bit anyway.
So, "maintain" is the word of the day...
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
6 July 2009
Yes, I've been bad about posting to the blog. Seems like summertime gets so busy with the longer days and warmer weather.
I'm afraid it's going to be slim pickings here for awhile. October, November, that seems to be when the "gainer bug" really hits. Also, the days get shorter, there's less to do, more time to blog.
Update so far: not much since the last post. I may be the worst gainer ever. On the plus side, I've lost very little (if any) weight. I feel slimmer but the scale doesn't lie. I think I'm just getting used to being fatter.
So in a way that's progress of a kind. Usually by this time of summer I'm back down below 180 because I get busy and forget to eat. I figure if I can at least maintain what I've done over the winter, I should be set up well for the coming gaining year.
I'm afraid it's going to be slim pickings here for awhile. October, November, that seems to be when the "gainer bug" really hits. Also, the days get shorter, there's less to do, more time to blog.
Update so far: not much since the last post. I may be the worst gainer ever. On the plus side, I've lost very little (if any) weight. I feel slimmer but the scale doesn't lie. I think I'm just getting used to being fatter.
So in a way that's progress of a kind. Usually by this time of summer I'm back down below 180 because I get busy and forget to eat. I figure if I can at least maintain what I've done over the winter, I should be set up well for the coming gaining year.
Monday, June 1, 2009
1 June 2009
Well talk about a hot gaining moment...
This week we installed security cameras where I work and for the first time I was able to get a good look at myself as other people see me - from all angles and from a distance.
I had no idea much I've gained, truly, until that point. I mean, it's like I was seeing progress here and there, bigger belly, thighs, etc. but never really put it all together until I saw the footage and it's like "there's a guy with some weight on him".
I'm not exactly what you'd call huge...yet...but I'm definitely not what you'd call skinny anymore. And while I see how much I've gained, I'm getting a pretty good idea of how much farther I need to go.
I've been lazy the last little while. I was 196 but I've dropped back down to 192. It seems I really have to focus on eating more. I'm not sure if a structured diet would help. I mean, it would help, but I'm not sure how disciplined I would be at following it.
On the plus side, I'm about to come into some money - it should impact my eating habits (ie. I'll be able to afford more than beans and rice...)
This week we installed security cameras where I work and for the first time I was able to get a good look at myself as other people see me - from all angles and from a distance.
I had no idea much I've gained, truly, until that point. I mean, it's like I was seeing progress here and there, bigger belly, thighs, etc. but never really put it all together until I saw the footage and it's like "there's a guy with some weight on him".
I'm not exactly what you'd call huge...yet...but I'm definitely not what you'd call skinny anymore. And while I see how much I've gained, I'm getting a pretty good idea of how much farther I need to go.
I've been lazy the last little while. I was 196 but I've dropped back down to 192. It seems I really have to focus on eating more. I'm not sure if a structured diet would help. I mean, it would help, but I'm not sure how disciplined I would be at following it.
On the plus side, I'm about to come into some money - it should impact my eating habits (ie. I'll be able to afford more than beans and rice...)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
11 May 2009
196 pounds!
I could tell I was getting fatter this week but I had no idea it was this much...
I can't even express how indescribably good I feel right now.
I could tell I was getting fatter this week but I had no idea it was this much...
I can't even express how indescribably good I feel right now.
10 May 2009
So I'm back to actively gaining after a few weeks of...well...not much.
After all I've eaten the last few days, I do believe I will be up to 193 lbs by tomorrow. I feel the familiar itch that says my belly is swelling again...
The plan now is to keep the momentum going, to consistently overeat by at least 500 calories every day. I'm planning to gain a pound a week (modest but much more do-able than a dramatically fast gain). Recently I've discovered McDonald's chocolate shakes. 1200 cals of fat and sugar for about three dollars...who could ask for more?
I've given it a lot of thought and have decided to aim for 250 lbs. I've looked at pictures of other guys about my height and think the ones who are around 250 are what I want to look like: chunky all over with a big round belly.
Even though right now I'm fatter than I've ever been in my life, I feel so skinny.
When I run my hands over my belly, I can feel how much more solid it's getting, how it's starting to rest on the tops of my thighs when I sit, and how it's really starting to make itself known when I try to bend over to pick stuff up...but still, I try to imagine what it's going to be like, what my whole body's going to be like, after I gain more than 50 pounds.
A very long time ago, in my early twenties, I weighed about 130 lbs. I can see the incredible diffrerence putting on that first fifty pounds has made (people who knew me in college don't recognize me now). I know the next fifty is going to be equally dramatic. I am simultaneously very excited thinking about this but also, somewhere very deep inside of me feels that this is just so *right*. The heavier I get, the more I feel like I'm becoming what I was supposed to be all along...
After all I've eaten the last few days, I do believe I will be up to 193 lbs by tomorrow. I feel the familiar itch that says my belly is swelling again...
The plan now is to keep the momentum going, to consistently overeat by at least 500 calories every day. I'm planning to gain a pound a week (modest but much more do-able than a dramatically fast gain). Recently I've discovered McDonald's chocolate shakes. 1200 cals of fat and sugar for about three dollars...who could ask for more?
I've given it a lot of thought and have decided to aim for 250 lbs. I've looked at pictures of other guys about my height and think the ones who are around 250 are what I want to look like: chunky all over with a big round belly.
Even though right now I'm fatter than I've ever been in my life, I feel so skinny.
When I run my hands over my belly, I can feel how much more solid it's getting, how it's starting to rest on the tops of my thighs when I sit, and how it's really starting to make itself known when I try to bend over to pick stuff up...but still, I try to imagine what it's going to be like, what my whole body's going to be like, after I gain more than 50 pounds.
A very long time ago, in my early twenties, I weighed about 130 lbs. I can see the incredible diffrerence putting on that first fifty pounds has made (people who knew me in college don't recognize me now). I know the next fifty is going to be equally dramatic. I am simultaneously very excited thinking about this but also, somewhere very deep inside of me feels that this is just so *right*. The heavier I get, the more I feel like I'm becoming what I was supposed to be all along...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
7 May 2009
Wow! I can't believe it's May already. I have no idea where April went. I don't even think I got to post anything here during the entire month!
Status update for anyone who is curious: things are about the same, physically. If anything, I lost a couple of pounds.
Then one day last week I had a big breakfast, big lunch and then out for a (big) dinner. Woke up the next morning with that familiar firmness in the belly that means I'm starting to fill out again...and decided I'm just not willing to plateau at 192 lbs.
Also, I think I already crossed a threshold a few months ago when I went from relatively slim to having a belly that I just couldn't disguise or suck in and make disappear.
I admit it's taken me some time to get used to the extra bulk. I realize I'm still a real lightweight compared to some but I *do* notice a difference when I bend over. There is most definitely more bulk around my middle. And when I run...I jiggle.
Anyway, now that I've crossed the line from "skinny fat" to "becoming noticeably chunkier", somehow it's easier to grasp the idea that now that I actually *have* a belly (and the world didn't end), it's going to be easier to grow it.
Part of my problem is that I'm somewhat of a coward. I'm in a stable, long term relationship with somone to whom I have *not* shared that I'm getting fat on purpose. One thing is that my parter is quite heavy (but not a gainer) and has issues of his own around weight.
That being said, he doesn't appear to mind the fact that I'm getting rounder. He's taken to coming up behind me, putting his arms around me and rubbing my belly. Which is great, except that I'm really ticklish.
At any rate, I think that if he were utterly repulsed, he wouldn't go out of his way to engage me that way. And there have not been any of the comments like "gee, you're getting porky, go on a diet". If anything, following his cues with food (lots of butter, etc) has helped me get fatter!
So anyway, I know at some point we're going to have to have "the conversation". I realize it's kind of passive aggressive to just keep gaining until he's forced to bring it up but I guess I'm hoping as I gain he'll discover he likes the heavier aspect of me. I'm kind of playing it by ear at this point because I just can't think of how to start this conversation without it sounding incredibly bizarre.
And yet I can share these thoughts with the rest of the world - most of whom are complete strangers. Go figure.
Status update for anyone who is curious: things are about the same, physically. If anything, I lost a couple of pounds.
Then one day last week I had a big breakfast, big lunch and then out for a (big) dinner. Woke up the next morning with that familiar firmness in the belly that means I'm starting to fill out again...and decided I'm just not willing to plateau at 192 lbs.
Also, I think I already crossed a threshold a few months ago when I went from relatively slim to having a belly that I just couldn't disguise or suck in and make disappear.
I admit it's taken me some time to get used to the extra bulk. I realize I'm still a real lightweight compared to some but I *do* notice a difference when I bend over. There is most definitely more bulk around my middle. And when I run...I jiggle.
Anyway, now that I've crossed the line from "skinny fat" to "becoming noticeably chunkier", somehow it's easier to grasp the idea that now that I actually *have* a belly (and the world didn't end), it's going to be easier to grow it.
Part of my problem is that I'm somewhat of a coward. I'm in a stable, long term relationship with somone to whom I have *not* shared that I'm getting fat on purpose. One thing is that my parter is quite heavy (but not a gainer) and has issues of his own around weight.
That being said, he doesn't appear to mind the fact that I'm getting rounder. He's taken to coming up behind me, putting his arms around me and rubbing my belly. Which is great, except that I'm really ticklish.
At any rate, I think that if he were utterly repulsed, he wouldn't go out of his way to engage me that way. And there have not been any of the comments like "gee, you're getting porky, go on a diet". If anything, following his cues with food (lots of butter, etc) has helped me get fatter!
So anyway, I know at some point we're going to have to have "the conversation". I realize it's kind of passive aggressive to just keep gaining until he's forced to bring it up but I guess I'm hoping as I gain he'll discover he likes the heavier aspect of me. I'm kind of playing it by ear at this point because I just can't think of how to start this conversation without it sounding incredibly bizarre.
And yet I can share these thoughts with the rest of the world - most of whom are complete strangers. Go figure.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
31 March 2009
No, I haven't dropped off the face of the planet...
I realize it's been more than I month since I've written anything here. I think I fell into a late winter "funk". Felt sort of sick, achey for weeks. Not really sick enough to stay home but sick enough to just make every single day drrraaagggg...
I stopped with the herbal stuff the last week of February, wondering if that's what was messing me up. I'm still not sure - I do know it was making me quite sluggish. I think part of the gaining effect was caused by slowing down the metabolism. I'm just going au naturel for right now to get things back into synch.
Not much to report on the gaining front. I haven't been eating more than usual but haven't actually lost anything. Things are about the same.
I'm starting to get used to being bigger - it not longer surprises me when I move a certain way and realize that wow...that bulge wasn't there before.
I wouldn't have believed that gaining so little weight (relatively speaking) would make me feel so different.
Anyhoo...just taking things slow for now...
I realize it's been more than I month since I've written anything here. I think I fell into a late winter "funk". Felt sort of sick, achey for weeks. Not really sick enough to stay home but sick enough to just make every single day drrraaagggg...
I stopped with the herbal stuff the last week of February, wondering if that's what was messing me up. I'm still not sure - I do know it was making me quite sluggish. I think part of the gaining effect was caused by slowing down the metabolism. I'm just going au naturel for right now to get things back into synch.
Not much to report on the gaining front. I haven't been eating more than usual but haven't actually lost anything. Things are about the same.
I'm starting to get used to being bigger - it not longer surprises me when I move a certain way and realize that wow...that bulge wasn't there before.
I wouldn't have believed that gaining so little weight (relatively speaking) would make me feel so different.
Anyhoo...just taking things slow for now...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
