I've had to redo the poll. For some reason Blogspot, although it will allow you to do a two year poll, doesn't seem to cope well once the poll gets into the second year. Votes are slowly eroding and the poll is getting weird.
So I've redone the poll with what I think are better questions with a little more information for each choice based on how I estimate each stage of gaining will impact my physical appearance.
I realize that having a poll about myself is narcissistic but to be fair, this IS my blog and it's solely about me and how I'm actively endeavoring to make myself as fat as I can. You all wouldn't be here if you weren't at least a little interested in my journey.
Even though you most likely voted on the last poll, feel free to plug your opinions into the new one. I'm always curious to know just what people who are reading this are thinking about what I'm doing.
And, as always, I welcome comments. I have moderation ON for the comments because there's been a fair amount of spam coming my way. If you post a comment, it will NOT immediately appear. As soon as I log in, I will see it and, so long as you're not trying to sell sunglasses to the masses, I'll approve it and it WILL show up here. I'm always curious to hear from people. Encouragement is awesome but so is debate. If you have any questions about what I'm doing or more importantly *why*, get in touch with me either in the comments section or by e-mail at roundboy123456@yahoo.ca. It may be a few days or weeks but I do always, eventually, get back to everyone who takes the time to contact me.
Cheers everyone! I'm off to eat "Second Breakfast"...
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Friday, September 26, 2014
26 September 2014
I've ramped up my food intake to my reasonable limits and, barring any unforeseen circumstance, plan to keep working at extending those limits as far as I can. Ideally, if I could eventually get myself to eating double the amount that I eat now on a daily basis, I could really start to pack on the pounds. Even after I've managed to get where I need to in terms of weight...and I've decided that this is going to be a LOT more weight...as in finding the exact limit of just how big I can get and still manage to function...I know if I'm to maintain it, I'm going to have to eat like a champion for as long as I want to maintain my new body size.
It's odd just how hungry I am in spite of the fact that I just had a large bowl of rice topped with a hefty chunk of butter. I really do think a lot of this is in the mind. It's like suddenly everything's okay, the last of the emotional hurdles have been cleared, and now it's just a technical matter of getting fat as quickly and efficiently as possible.
And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to experiencing all the profound changes that are about to start happening for real...after so many years of only dreaming about doing this.
It's odd just how hungry I am in spite of the fact that I just had a large bowl of rice topped with a hefty chunk of butter. I really do think a lot of this is in the mind. It's like suddenly everything's okay, the last of the emotional hurdles have been cleared, and now it's just a technical matter of getting fat as quickly and efficiently as possible.
And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to experiencing all the profound changes that are about to start happening for real...after so many years of only dreaming about doing this.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
24 September 2014
Well, sometimes there IS such a thing as free lunch. Or at least a whole lot of yummy food that gets sent in one's direction after it's done being used as film props.
Without going into too much detail about this so as not to interfere with the production of the piece, I *can* tell you that I was contacted a few weeks ago, out of the blue, by a journalist about doing a documentary on what it's like to be a gainer. It was so strange and improbable that I admit I had a great deal of concern about doing this. Having seen how gainers are treated by mainstream media by the likes of Dr. Oz, Maury, etc...at first I just wasn't willing to go there.
I was curious though, just to see how this would play out. So I corresponded with the journalist a few times on e-mail and this, in addition to a single 20 minute phone call, was enough for him to fly up from the States with a cameraman. Didn't know my name or my address. Still doesn't as far as I know. It was a HUGE leap of faith on their part because it would have been super easy for me to get cold feet and simply evaporate on them with no fear of reprisal. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered it. But there was enough transparency on their part, and a lack of red flags, to convince me that this would be worth doing.
The first day of filming was nerve wracking for me...I had terrible visions of getting there and finding an orgy in progress. Or a room full of "tourists" looking to ogle the weirdo. Of getting "roofied" and never being heard from again. Lots of variables and lots of room for things for me to be paranoid about.
In the end, though, it worked out better than I ever could have imagined. The journalist was professional, sensitive, careful not to offend, and I could tell by the line of questioning that this is not going to turn into one of those drive by freak show puff pieces that dominate mainstream media.
He told me part of what drew him to approaching me was, in fact, this very blog as well as how I handled myself on the Reddit AMA from November 2011. He said he was impressed by the thoughtfulness of my posts and how I was dealing with so many of the issues surrounding being a gainer.
So...after two very hard days of shooting (I have acquired serious respect for professional actors who deal with the constant staging of camera shots and all the technical stuff that comes with lighting etc. Spending six hours in a small room with a giant light right in your face, brighter than the midday sun and just about as hot is truly an endurance test I don't care to repeat anytime soon), they've got hours of footage. It will be very interesting to see what makes it through editing and to see the vision of the final piece.
I'm simply exhausted now though. This whole experience has pushed me so far beyond my comfort zone that if I look back now, I'm sure it's so far gone as to have slipped below the horizon. I've gone from making quiet blog posts to myself in the wee hours to discussing my entire experience with a stranger for a documentary whose distribution I have absolutely no control over. I've had to come "out" as a gainer to two more friends as a result of this (non issue with both of them) and also managed to plunge my husband square into the middle of this. He knows a LOT more about my gaining ways now than he ever suspected he would.
It was really difficult the first day because I hadn't even told my husband that I was doing this documentary. I just said I was going to a meeting. That night when I got home I guess he could tell something was up and when he asked, I told him all about it. As I was saying the words to explain this all to him, even to me it sounded so freaking improbable that I knew he was going to need to meet the crew. So he came along for the last day of shooting and will end up being in the documentary as well. I know it was hard for him. But I also know it was exactly the right thing to do because if I hadn't, he would have always wondered about this. Now at least he knows for sure what it was about because he's shared part of the experience of it.
In all, this was terrifying, exhausting, but also in so many ways extremely positive and validating of my own experience. Although I still consider myself to be odder than the average person, it turns out that I'm not nearly the freak I always thought I was. Although I am going against social norms, this really *isn't* as big a deal as I'd always thought.
Again (and I know I've said this *far* too many times before), I really DO think the Year of the Big Gain has begun. Roadblocks have fallen (including more than in a few that existed solely in my own mind) and I'm starting to get more support through networking with other gainers and encouragers (including a number of very cool local people). It's all starting to come together. And this makes me SO happy!
Time to go dig in to that awesome pile of food...
Without going into too much detail about this so as not to interfere with the production of the piece, I *can* tell you that I was contacted a few weeks ago, out of the blue, by a journalist about doing a documentary on what it's like to be a gainer. It was so strange and improbable that I admit I had a great deal of concern about doing this. Having seen how gainers are treated by mainstream media by the likes of Dr. Oz, Maury, etc...at first I just wasn't willing to go there.
I was curious though, just to see how this would play out. So I corresponded with the journalist a few times on e-mail and this, in addition to a single 20 minute phone call, was enough for him to fly up from the States with a cameraman. Didn't know my name or my address. Still doesn't as far as I know. It was a HUGE leap of faith on their part because it would have been super easy for me to get cold feet and simply evaporate on them with no fear of reprisal. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered it. But there was enough transparency on their part, and a lack of red flags, to convince me that this would be worth doing.
The first day of filming was nerve wracking for me...I had terrible visions of getting there and finding an orgy in progress. Or a room full of "tourists" looking to ogle the weirdo. Of getting "roofied" and never being heard from again. Lots of variables and lots of room for things for me to be paranoid about.
In the end, though, it worked out better than I ever could have imagined. The journalist was professional, sensitive, careful not to offend, and I could tell by the line of questioning that this is not going to turn into one of those drive by freak show puff pieces that dominate mainstream media.
He told me part of what drew him to approaching me was, in fact, this very blog as well as how I handled myself on the Reddit AMA from November 2011. He said he was impressed by the thoughtfulness of my posts and how I was dealing with so many of the issues surrounding being a gainer.
So...after two very hard days of shooting (I have acquired serious respect for professional actors who deal with the constant staging of camera shots and all the technical stuff that comes with lighting etc. Spending six hours in a small room with a giant light right in your face, brighter than the midday sun and just about as hot is truly an endurance test I don't care to repeat anytime soon), they've got hours of footage. It will be very interesting to see what makes it through editing and to see the vision of the final piece.
I'm simply exhausted now though. This whole experience has pushed me so far beyond my comfort zone that if I look back now, I'm sure it's so far gone as to have slipped below the horizon. I've gone from making quiet blog posts to myself in the wee hours to discussing my entire experience with a stranger for a documentary whose distribution I have absolutely no control over. I've had to come "out" as a gainer to two more friends as a result of this (non issue with both of them) and also managed to plunge my husband square into the middle of this. He knows a LOT more about my gaining ways now than he ever suspected he would.
It was really difficult the first day because I hadn't even told my husband that I was doing this documentary. I just said I was going to a meeting. That night when I got home I guess he could tell something was up and when he asked, I told him all about it. As I was saying the words to explain this all to him, even to me it sounded so freaking improbable that I knew he was going to need to meet the crew. So he came along for the last day of shooting and will end up being in the documentary as well. I know it was hard for him. But I also know it was exactly the right thing to do because if I hadn't, he would have always wondered about this. Now at least he knows for sure what it was about because he's shared part of the experience of it.
In all, this was terrifying, exhausting, but also in so many ways extremely positive and validating of my own experience. Although I still consider myself to be odder than the average person, it turns out that I'm not nearly the freak I always thought I was. Although I am going against social norms, this really *isn't* as big a deal as I'd always thought.
Again (and I know I've said this *far* too many times before), I really DO think the Year of the Big Gain has begun. Roadblocks have fallen (including more than in a few that existed solely in my own mind) and I'm starting to get more support through networking with other gainers and encouragers (including a number of very cool local people). It's all starting to come together. And this makes me SO happy!
Time to go dig in to that awesome pile of food...
Thursday, September 18, 2014
18 September 2014
What a busy and complicated summer it's been! I've been everywhere from Ottawa to Victoria and a number of really strange places in between and as a result haven't had time to update this blog.
So update: I've backslid a tiny bit. Currently weighing in at 203 pounds. Again, though I'm sure I say this too much already, although I haven't managed to get bigger lately, I also haven't allowed myself to backslide too much either. I really do consider it a WIN that I've been able, approximately, to maintain my current bulk considering how hard it can be to eat gluten free when travelling.
I had a bad scene happen early August when I paid to eat at a communal kitchen at a festival I was at. Five days of getting progressively sicker because the people cooking, who solemnly swore up front they knew how to keep me safe from gluten, either didn't know as much as they thought they did about the issue, or else had no idea just how sensitive I am to gluten and cross contamination. It took me weeks...literally weeks...to recover from that. Imagine getting a second degree burn down the length of your intestines and you'll get a vague idea of what I'm talking about. It. Was. Bad.
Anyway, I'm recovered now and digesting normally (yay!)...
It seems lately that a lot of things are aligning in surprising and pleasing ways: I'm experiencing employment stability as a result of being hired on as a permanent employee (with the income and benefits to match), that my other half is aware and okay with the fact that I'm doing everything in my power to be fat, that my circle of friends, though not specifically aware that I'm gaining on purpose, aren't being too judgy about the fact that I'm noticeably bigger every time they see me, and that I'm starting to connect with other folks in the gainer community in ways that I sincerely hope will end up being mutually supportive.
I know I've probably said this before, but I really DO think this will be The Year of the Big Gain.
So update: I've backslid a tiny bit. Currently weighing in at 203 pounds. Again, though I'm sure I say this too much already, although I haven't managed to get bigger lately, I also haven't allowed myself to backslide too much either. I really do consider it a WIN that I've been able, approximately, to maintain my current bulk considering how hard it can be to eat gluten free when travelling.
I had a bad scene happen early August when I paid to eat at a communal kitchen at a festival I was at. Five days of getting progressively sicker because the people cooking, who solemnly swore up front they knew how to keep me safe from gluten, either didn't know as much as they thought they did about the issue, or else had no idea just how sensitive I am to gluten and cross contamination. It took me weeks...literally weeks...to recover from that. Imagine getting a second degree burn down the length of your intestines and you'll get a vague idea of what I'm talking about. It. Was. Bad.
Anyway, I'm recovered now and digesting normally (yay!)...
It seems lately that a lot of things are aligning in surprising and pleasing ways: I'm experiencing employment stability as a result of being hired on as a permanent employee (with the income and benefits to match), that my other half is aware and okay with the fact that I'm doing everything in my power to be fat, that my circle of friends, though not specifically aware that I'm gaining on purpose, aren't being too judgy about the fact that I'm noticeably bigger every time they see me, and that I'm starting to connect with other folks in the gainer community in ways that I sincerely hope will end up being mutually supportive.
I know I've probably said this before, but I really DO think this will be The Year of the Big Gain.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Allrighty...
August is looking like a complicated month to try and organize *anything*. So I've bumped this dinner into September. I'm arbitrarily picking Wednesday September 17th. I've decided to go slightly higher class and go with Haweli near the Boardwalk Market in downtown Edmonton. It's got a buffet that actually lists the allergens in each item (a big deal for me, esp. since I was sorely reminded about a week ago as to why it's important for me to avoid ALL gluten), the food is excellent, and the restaurant itself has fairly nice ambiance. The only downside is that dinner with a drink will run about $30 each (which is only nine dollars more than I paid for two pieces of battered fish at Brit's, so...)
Anyway, if you're thinking of coming joining me/us, please drop me a line at roundboy123456@yahoo.ca so I can know how many to make the reservation for.
This is a "meet and greet" type thing and purely social and...I would hope...non threatening.
Anyway, hopefully I don't end up eating alone...
August is looking like a complicated month to try and organize *anything*. So I've bumped this dinner into September. I'm arbitrarily picking Wednesday September 17th. I've decided to go slightly higher class and go with Haweli near the Boardwalk Market in downtown Edmonton. It's got a buffet that actually lists the allergens in each item (a big deal for me, esp. since I was sorely reminded about a week ago as to why it's important for me to avoid ALL gluten), the food is excellent, and the restaurant itself has fairly nice ambiance. The only downside is that dinner with a drink will run about $30 each (which is only nine dollars more than I paid for two pieces of battered fish at Brit's, so...)
Anyway, if you're thinking of coming joining me/us, please drop me a line at roundboy123456@yahoo.ca so I can know how many to make the reservation for.
This is a "meet and greet" type thing and purely social and...I would hope...non threatening.
Anyway, hopefully I don't end up eating alone...
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
15 July 2014
So I'm thinking of trying to do another dinner get together possibly around August 20th here in Edmonton. I'm thinking Indian buffet (I've got a place in mind that isn't too expensive). Drop me an e-mail at roundboy123456@yahoo.ca if you're interested in coming.
In other news: after not doing much to actively gain for the last little while, I find myself wanting to strap the feed bag back on.
While at work I stepped on that giant scale at work again - managed to tip it to 96 kg (211 lbs) but only because I was wearing heavy work boots and holding a jug of water. Got me thinking that it's time to actually break the 210 pound threshold. I'm close now but it seems somehow symbolic to be able to get there...without the work boots on!
In other news: after not doing much to actively gain for the last little while, I find myself wanting to strap the feed bag back on.
While at work I stepped on that giant scale at work again - managed to tip it to 96 kg (211 lbs) but only because I was wearing heavy work boots and holding a jug of water. Got me thinking that it's time to actually break the 210 pound threshold. I'm close now but it seems somehow symbolic to be able to get there...without the work boots on!
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
8 July 2014
Yes, I know it's been a month since my last post...
I've been away for a good part of it for work related reasons I won't bore you with. One of the upshots was that I was able to attend World Pride in Toronto and got to march in the parade. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I really enjoyed it. Well, most of it. The 42 degree Celsius humidex...not so much. Not to sound like a drama queen but I really felt closer to death by the end of the parade than I have in a long, long time. The whole thing took hours to do, I stupidly hadn't thought to pack enough water, and there weren't any options for getting more on the parade route. But I survived, had a blast overall, and met a number of really awesome people (none of them gainers as far as I know but more than a few bears).
I kept my calories up by eating a number of strange things (some of which I'm pretty sure now weren't gluten free though they were advertised as such) and although I have no gains to report, I didn't backslide either.
And...today I was the recipient of a large amount of high end (read: expensive) gluten free food from a neighbour whose kid works at a warehouse that carries this stuff. They were getting rid of some stale dated inventory and I ended up with half a freezer full of some very, very nice stuff...so...yay!
And to Anonymous: I may just try this approach of dedicating one day a week to having extra and then just maintaining for the rest of the week. I'll let you know how it goes...
I've been away for a good part of it for work related reasons I won't bore you with. One of the upshots was that I was able to attend World Pride in Toronto and got to march in the parade. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I really enjoyed it. Well, most of it. The 42 degree Celsius humidex...not so much. Not to sound like a drama queen but I really felt closer to death by the end of the parade than I have in a long, long time. The whole thing took hours to do, I stupidly hadn't thought to pack enough water, and there weren't any options for getting more on the parade route. But I survived, had a blast overall, and met a number of really awesome people (none of them gainers as far as I know but more than a few bears).
I kept my calories up by eating a number of strange things (some of which I'm pretty sure now weren't gluten free though they were advertised as such) and although I have no gains to report, I didn't backslide either.
And...today I was the recipient of a large amount of high end (read: expensive) gluten free food from a neighbour whose kid works at a warehouse that carries this stuff. They were getting rid of some stale dated inventory and I ended up with half a freezer full of some very, very nice stuff...so...yay!
And to Anonymous: I may just try this approach of dedicating one day a week to having extra and then just maintaining for the rest of the week. I'll let you know how it goes...
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