Happy holidays...whatever you celebrate...
That being said, I'm so happy Christmas is over again for another year. I know. Bah humbug and all that...
Without going into the gory details, suffice to say that it's a special kind of torture doing the rounds of the family's houses and being presented with trays and trays piled high with delicacies that one cannot enjoy due to dietary restrictions (gluten). And there's nothing sadder than leaving Christmas dinner hungry because of a miscommunication with respect to ingredients.
Ah well. This too shall pass...hopefully next year will be different.
A quick update: still 194. It seems that when I leave the structure and routine of work, my own special diet falls by the wayside.
Now I've got to see what I can do to fix that.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
19 December 2011
Well, I'm pretty consistently 194 now.
The gain is progressing. Mind you, it's not going as quickly as I'd like...but that being said, it's giving me time to get used to being heavier.
I'm getting into the groove of eating a lot more. Now if I skimp and fall short of my basic needs, I get super starvingly hungry. It's an excellent reminder to keep eating.
Over the next few weeks I'm going to work at ways of increasing my intake back to the recommended values on the spreadsheet. When I set up the spreadsheet, I was aiming for 1/3 of a pound gained per day. The reality over the last few weeks has been closer to 1/10 of a pound.
Which, when I think hard about it doesn't make a lot of sense because I've gained at least 10 pounds in the last seven weeks. Then again, math was never one of my strengths.
I guess let's just leave it at this: I'm going to try to eat more and let's see what happens...
The gain is progressing. Mind you, it's not going as quickly as I'd like...but that being said, it's giving me time to get used to being heavier.
I'm getting into the groove of eating a lot more. Now if I skimp and fall short of my basic needs, I get super starvingly hungry. It's an excellent reminder to keep eating.
Over the next few weeks I'm going to work at ways of increasing my intake back to the recommended values on the spreadsheet. When I set up the spreadsheet, I was aiming for 1/3 of a pound gained per day. The reality over the last few weeks has been closer to 1/10 of a pound.
Which, when I think hard about it doesn't make a lot of sense because I've gained at least 10 pounds in the last seven weeks. Then again, math was never one of my strengths.
I guess let's just leave it at this: I'm going to try to eat more and let's see what happens...
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
14 December 2011
Well, it appears my extra efforts over the last few days are paying off. I'm currently 193...and gaining fast...
I'm not sure if I'm going to catch up to where I should be according to the spreadsheet (or if I should even try) but I'm pleased that there's been quite a bit of progress this week.
The clothes I bought last spring (when I was heavier) are finally fitting properly now. It's just a matter of time, though, before I have to replace them with bigger sizes.
I had a good look at myself in the mirror the other day and I can tell you that I'm definitely starting to get "thicker" all over....though it's still mostly coming in as belly fat.
Working the physically demanding job that I am right now has definitely changed HOW I'm gaining. Before, at this weight, I was just getting sort of blobby. This time around the fat is very firm, well defined. The fat is sitting on a layer of muscle and as far as I'm concerned, I'm really loving the look. I can't wait to see how things develop as I get heavier.
I'm not sure if I'm going to catch up to where I should be according to the spreadsheet (or if I should even try) but I'm pleased that there's been quite a bit of progress this week.
The clothes I bought last spring (when I was heavier) are finally fitting properly now. It's just a matter of time, though, before I have to replace them with bigger sizes.
I had a good look at myself in the mirror the other day and I can tell you that I'm definitely starting to get "thicker" all over....though it's still mostly coming in as belly fat.
Working the physically demanding job that I am right now has definitely changed HOW I'm gaining. Before, at this weight, I was just getting sort of blobby. This time around the fat is very firm, well defined. The fat is sitting on a layer of muscle and as far as I'm concerned, I'm really loving the look. I can't wait to see how things develop as I get heavier.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
10 December 2011
So its been exactly a year since that infamous post that included the picture of me at 202 pounds...the post whose link was embedded in the reddit.com article.
Sadly to say, I'm still 11 pounds shy of being that big this year. I'm solidly at 191 pounds and have been for a few days now.
The spreadsheet says I should be edging up to 195...and while I'm disappointed with my slower than expected progress, I'm not kicking myself too hard about it either. It's been busy and the fact that I've at least managed maintain what I've gained lately is, as far as I'm concerned, a pretty decent accomplishment.
My whole circadian rhythm is seriously messed up. I'm having my first coffee of the day at nearly 5pm. I haven't slept since yesterday. And it's already dark outside. It feels like it should either be 11 pm or early morning....anything but late afternoon.
And it's weird...even though the scale hasn't shown any movement for awhile, all of the sudden all my pants are too tight. I think my body's still trying to figure out where to put all this extra fat.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted (when there's something new to say!)
Sadly to say, I'm still 11 pounds shy of being that big this year. I'm solidly at 191 pounds and have been for a few days now.
The spreadsheet says I should be edging up to 195...and while I'm disappointed with my slower than expected progress, I'm not kicking myself too hard about it either. It's been busy and the fact that I've at least managed maintain what I've gained lately is, as far as I'm concerned, a pretty decent accomplishment.
My whole circadian rhythm is seriously messed up. I'm having my first coffee of the day at nearly 5pm. I haven't slept since yesterday. And it's already dark outside. It feels like it should either be 11 pm or early morning....anything but late afternoon.
And it's weird...even though the scale hasn't shown any movement for awhile, all of the sudden all my pants are too tight. I think my body's still trying to figure out where to put all this extra fat.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted (when there's something new to say!)
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
6 December 2011
So I appear to be backsliding a little bit. I'm closer to 190 now. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm having to choose between sleeping and eating (and sleep is winning out). It's hard to get the required amount of calories in when there's only so many awake hours in the day.
Also, I might be underestimating my daily caloric needs. I've been put into a more physically strenuous department at work and I'm literally working up a sweat unloading these icy cold trailers. I may have to investigate some other more easily accessible sources of calories.
...or else learn to eat in my sleep...
Also, I might be underestimating my daily caloric needs. I've been put into a more physically strenuous department at work and I'm literally working up a sweat unloading these icy cold trailers. I may have to investigate some other more easily accessible sources of calories.
...or else learn to eat in my sleep...
Thursday, December 1, 2011
1 December 2011
So I'm up to 192...and very definitely showing it.
Used to be my t-shirts would just hang down. Now they take a detour around my belly..which feels swollen all the time now and very firm. I think I'm to the point where the skin there is starting to stretch again.
I wonder at what weight the stretch marks will make themselves known?
Used to be my t-shirts would just hang down. Now they take a detour around my belly..which feels swollen all the time now and very firm. I think I'm to the point where the skin there is starting to stretch again.
I wonder at what weight the stretch marks will make themselves known?
Monday, November 28, 2011
28 November 2011
Hello all...
Two things before I start blogging:
1. To 'Bear Helms': thank you for your kind words. I did publish one of your comments. The other comment (about the pros and cons of various coffee makers), appeared to have been a mis-communication. Did you really intend to post it as a comment on my blog? If so, I'm confused.
2. To the 7 people who clicked "I don't know why I'm here but I'm confused as to what this blog is about"...could you drop me a line and tell me exactly how you found this blog? I admit I'm curious...
Anyway, on to today's post:
I'm up to 191 today...which is amazing because it's exactly where the spreadsheet says I should be.
I know I'm NOT a slave to the spreadsheet, however, I think it's a supreme accomplishment that I can methodically set out a goal, stick to it, and actually have quantifiable results in line with my predictions.
It's also awe-inspiring that the path is laid so clear to my ultimate goal. This is the first time I've ever really grasped the concrete concept that, instead of just willy-nilly eating as much as I could and hoping for the best (and getting sick of it and stopping), that I have a real shot at succeeding this time around.
And, oddly enough, it's actually taking LESS food, overall, than I thought to gain as quickly as I have been. It's more about consistently eating (I'm packing in 1200-1500 calories before 7am everyday) and less about the binge.
It's paying off: every day I'm getting bigger...
Two things before I start blogging:
1. To 'Bear Helms': thank you for your kind words. I did publish one of your comments. The other comment (about the pros and cons of various coffee makers), appeared to have been a mis-communication. Did you really intend to post it as a comment on my blog? If so, I'm confused.
2. To the 7 people who clicked "I don't know why I'm here but I'm confused as to what this blog is about"...could you drop me a line and tell me exactly how you found this blog? I admit I'm curious...
Anyway, on to today's post:
I'm up to 191 today...which is amazing because it's exactly where the spreadsheet says I should be.
I know I'm NOT a slave to the spreadsheet, however, I think it's a supreme accomplishment that I can methodically set out a goal, stick to it, and actually have quantifiable results in line with my predictions.
It's also awe-inspiring that the path is laid so clear to my ultimate goal. This is the first time I've ever really grasped the concrete concept that, instead of just willy-nilly eating as much as I could and hoping for the best (and getting sick of it and stopping), that I have a real shot at succeeding this time around.
And, oddly enough, it's actually taking LESS food, overall, than I thought to gain as quickly as I have been. It's more about consistently eating (I'm packing in 1200-1500 calories before 7am everyday) and less about the binge.
It's paying off: every day I'm getting bigger...
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
23 November 2011
Well, right on schedule I've arrived at 190 pounds. I'm considering the spreadsheet to be a success, so far. It's definitely been helping keep track with respect to my food intake.
As an added bonus, over the last few weeks my body has gotten used to consistently eating such an awesome amounts of food. It used to be a chore to finish my daily allotment. Now it's a breeze. Before I started, I would eat a big bowl of rice and that would keep me going for half a day. Now I down that bowl of rice and about a half hour later I'm ready for more. I actually find I'm hungier more often now than before I started.
Anyway, about the pictures: the ones on the left side of each shot were taken about two months ago. I estimate my weight to be somewhere between 180 and 184 (I still had the older scale then and I suspect...just by looking at the pix, that I was closer to 180). The right side of each shot is me now, at 190.
You can really see in the profile shots just how much belly I've gained in the last couple of months. I'm enjoying the added size, so far, and I'm looking forward to when I'm even bigger.
If this keeps up, I may consider upping my daily requirements...but for right now I'm going to stick to the plan.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
20 November 2011
Well all right. This week I learned quite a few things...
The first of which is that as of this morning I weigh 189. How did I manage a two pound gain in only two days? Here's the thing: I'm working at a physically intense job all week. The air is very dry here...especially now that the bitter cold has set in, I sweat a lot, don't get a chance to drink enough water, I get home and crash. Every afternoon I wake up very thirsty with my mouth so dry that I can actually hear a raspy sound when I run my tongue along the roof of my mouth!
Last night I had a day off from that job and because I wasn't feeling particularly well (dehydration will do that), I spent the evening eating lightly and sipping water.
This morning I got up, and (after urinating), weighed myself...to the tune of 189.
So I guess the lesson here is: drink more water.
The other lesson I've learned is this: for the past week or so I've been supplimenting with lecithin. I did some research online that suggests it helps with fat metabolism and so figured it couldn't hurt and might actually provide the benefit of protecting my liver from all this extra fat I've been eating. The first day, I took just a little higher than the recommended dose, and then every day after that, took HALF the recommended dose. All week long I've noticed that my muscles (specifically my back, which gets lots of exercise lifting boxes) have been getting sorer and spasm-ier to the point that I have to take Robaxisal even to sleep. I've also noticed myself getting more and more depressed as the week went on (of course this could just be in part because we're getting down to six hours of daylight per day...it's almost 8am here and the sky is still a sullen, leaden dark grey that suggests more snow is on the way...and I'm generally sleeping through all of the daylight hours...it's going to be dark again by 4pm. Add to the fact that it's damned cold here...-25C ambient/-35C windchill...as I type this...well, not a happy time of year).
I've been cranky and miserable and all I want to do is sleep (which for me, at least, a sure indicator of depression).
Did some further research and discovered that supplimenting with lecithin can actually cause or worsen depression if you're prone to such things (and I guess this proves beyond a doubt that I am).
I didn't take last night's lecithin pill and...so far today...I'm feeling a LOT better both mood-wise and back-wise.
The moral to this story is that: even though they're just vitamin pills, you can take less than the recommended dose and still have some mightily nasty ill effects.
So it's back to gaining the old fashioned way. I'm off to have my first breakfast of the day...
Hopefully by next weekend I will break 190 pounds and get some progress shots up.
The first of which is that as of this morning I weigh 189. How did I manage a two pound gain in only two days? Here's the thing: I'm working at a physically intense job all week. The air is very dry here...especially now that the bitter cold has set in, I sweat a lot, don't get a chance to drink enough water, I get home and crash. Every afternoon I wake up very thirsty with my mouth so dry that I can actually hear a raspy sound when I run my tongue along the roof of my mouth!
Last night I had a day off from that job and because I wasn't feeling particularly well (dehydration will do that), I spent the evening eating lightly and sipping water.
This morning I got up, and (after urinating), weighed myself...to the tune of 189.
So I guess the lesson here is: drink more water.
The other lesson I've learned is this: for the past week or so I've been supplimenting with lecithin. I did some research online that suggests it helps with fat metabolism and so figured it couldn't hurt and might actually provide the benefit of protecting my liver from all this extra fat I've been eating. The first day, I took just a little higher than the recommended dose, and then every day after that, took HALF the recommended dose. All week long I've noticed that my muscles (specifically my back, which gets lots of exercise lifting boxes) have been getting sorer and spasm-ier to the point that I have to take Robaxisal even to sleep. I've also noticed myself getting more and more depressed as the week went on (of course this could just be in part because we're getting down to six hours of daylight per day...it's almost 8am here and the sky is still a sullen, leaden dark grey that suggests more snow is on the way...and I'm generally sleeping through all of the daylight hours...it's going to be dark again by 4pm. Add to the fact that it's damned cold here...-25C ambient/-35C windchill...as I type this...well, not a happy time of year).
I've been cranky and miserable and all I want to do is sleep (which for me, at least, a sure indicator of depression).
Did some further research and discovered that supplimenting with lecithin can actually cause or worsen depression if you're prone to such things (and I guess this proves beyond a doubt that I am).
I didn't take last night's lecithin pill and...so far today...I'm feeling a LOT better both mood-wise and back-wise.
The moral to this story is that: even though they're just vitamin pills, you can take less than the recommended dose and still have some mightily nasty ill effects.
So it's back to gaining the old fashioned way. I'm off to have my first breakfast of the day...
Hopefully by next weekend I will break 190 pounds and get some progress shots up.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
17 November 2011
Well, I'm finally up to a happy 187 pounds.
Dehydration has been taking its toll: I've been regularly going to bed thirsty after a hard day's work and as a result have been waking up "light". Although starving one's self of water is an effective way to get one's weight stats down in order to be put into a lighter wrestling weight class, it's certainly not something I want to do (or really that I think wrestlers should be doing either!)
So last night I drank a sufficient amount of water before bed and the results speak for themselves. Which is good because I thought I was losing my mind there for awhile because I'm seeing/feeling the effects of gaining but the number on the scale just wasn't moving.
Also, having enough water in my system appears to be vastly helping out with my sluggish digestion (and that's all I'm going to say about that!)
Not much else to add today. Just going to keep on eating...
Dehydration has been taking its toll: I've been regularly going to bed thirsty after a hard day's work and as a result have been waking up "light". Although starving one's self of water is an effective way to get one's weight stats down in order to be put into a lighter wrestling weight class, it's certainly not something I want to do (or really that I think wrestlers should be doing either!)
So last night I drank a sufficient amount of water before bed and the results speak for themselves. Which is good because I thought I was losing my mind there for awhile because I'm seeing/feeling the effects of gaining but the number on the scale just wasn't moving.
Also, having enough water in my system appears to be vastly helping out with my sluggish digestion (and that's all I'm going to say about that!)
Not much else to add today. Just going to keep on eating...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
16 November 2011
Update: I've backpedalled a tiny bit and have recorded numbers just a little bit below maintenance values for my weight.
I haven't been feeling particularly awesome the last few days and decided it would be a bad idea to push my luck by overloading my system with extra food.
I'm feeling lot better today though...so the gain continues...
And for what it's worth, still clocking in at 186.
I haven't been feeling particularly awesome the last few days and decided it would be a bad idea to push my luck by overloading my system with extra food.
I'm feeling lot better today though...so the gain continues...
And for what it's worth, still clocking in at 186.
Monday, November 14, 2011
14 November 2011
Wow...what an interesing weekend! Ha. Just kidding. All I did was clean house, sleep, and eat. It was nice to get away from the workplace tedium of "pick up the box, put it in a bigger box, pick up the box, put it in a bigger box"...repeat 8,500 times until it's time to go home. That being said, I shouldn't complain. It's a five hour daily workout that I am paid handsomely for doing.
I kinda hit a wall yesterday though. Either I'm coming down with this creeping crud of a flu that's going around or else I haven't been drinking enough water. All day long whenever I tried to eat my (supersized portions) meals, I felt full even before I started. It's like my entire digestive system just decided to go on strike for awhile.
This happens occasionally to me even when I'm not gaining (my digestive system is fickle, at best) and usually in conjuction with exposure to gluten containing products. I'm not sure what "got" me this time but I guess I'm going to have to go over my kitchen with a microscope and see what I missed (last time it was the bargain coffee filters that used wheat starch as a stiffening agent - a gluten source that is totally undeclared on the label. Not sure how this is even legal in Canada in light of the new stricter labelling laws. I had to do some serious digging on the 'net even to figure this out. Bah.)
Anyway, in spite of this, I managed to take in my bare minimum, caloriewise. I also drank a ton of water and am feeling better, though still a little bit fragile. I suspect I'm going to be taking it easier today. I don't want to get into work tonight and have to spend the entire shift hucking around boxes on an upset stomach.
And the results of this weekend's excesses aren't encouraging: this morning I weighed in at a mere 184.5 lbs. I know, it's the big picture that matters...but holy cow. It just feels like I'm defying the laws of conservation of mass/energy. Though that being said, I AM actually growing. I can both see and feel the results.
Oh, and there was other excitement this weekend: at first I thought I'd pulled muscle in my back, just between my left shoulderblade and my spine. Then I did some research online and discovered gall bladder pain can sometimes refer up to between the shoulderblades. I guess I'm a bit of a hypochondriac because I spent a couple of days worrying that the high fat in my gainer diet was wreaking havoc with my gall bladder/liver. Turns out I was completely wrong. This last week or so I've been spending a lot more time on the computer. I'm sitting in a hard, low-backed diningroom chair. Every time I lean back to stretch out (being hunched over at a keyboard with a full belly is NOT comfortable), I grind that exact spot on my back against the top edge of the chair. So what I thought was gall bladder pain was simply a bruise. Padding installed on chair = problem solved.
Yes, I know. I need to get out more if I consider this to be newsworthy.
I kinda hit a wall yesterday though. Either I'm coming down with this creeping crud of a flu that's going around or else I haven't been drinking enough water. All day long whenever I tried to eat my (supersized portions) meals, I felt full even before I started. It's like my entire digestive system just decided to go on strike for awhile.
This happens occasionally to me even when I'm not gaining (my digestive system is fickle, at best) and usually in conjuction with exposure to gluten containing products. I'm not sure what "got" me this time but I guess I'm going to have to go over my kitchen with a microscope and see what I missed (last time it was the bargain coffee filters that used wheat starch as a stiffening agent - a gluten source that is totally undeclared on the label. Not sure how this is even legal in Canada in light of the new stricter labelling laws. I had to do some serious digging on the 'net even to figure this out. Bah.)
Anyway, in spite of this, I managed to take in my bare minimum, caloriewise. I also drank a ton of water and am feeling better, though still a little bit fragile. I suspect I'm going to be taking it easier today. I don't want to get into work tonight and have to spend the entire shift hucking around boxes on an upset stomach.
And the results of this weekend's excesses aren't encouraging: this morning I weighed in at a mere 184.5 lbs. I know, it's the big picture that matters...but holy cow. It just feels like I'm defying the laws of conservation of mass/energy. Though that being said, I AM actually growing. I can both see and feel the results.
Oh, and there was other excitement this weekend: at first I thought I'd pulled muscle in my back, just between my left shoulderblade and my spine. Then I did some research online and discovered gall bladder pain can sometimes refer up to between the shoulderblades. I guess I'm a bit of a hypochondriac because I spent a couple of days worrying that the high fat in my gainer diet was wreaking havoc with my gall bladder/liver. Turns out I was completely wrong. This last week or so I've been spending a lot more time on the computer. I'm sitting in a hard, low-backed diningroom chair. Every time I lean back to stretch out (being hunched over at a keyboard with a full belly is NOT comfortable), I grind that exact spot on my back against the top edge of the chair. So what I thought was gall bladder pain was simply a bruise. Padding installed on chair = problem solved.
Yes, I know. I need to get out more if I consider this to be newsworthy.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
12 November 2011
Well, technically it's realllly early on November 13th. Meh. Whatever.
I've managed to stay on course: total of 3905 calories today (1151 more than I need to simply maintain this weight).
I've been weighing myself throughout the day and the consistent number appears to be 186...so far. I realize it's a good idea to weigh one's self in the morning, however, right now my schedule is really wonky. It's 3 am right now and feels like a really dark midafternoon. This is in no way related to my gaining but completely the fault of the fact that I am currently doing shift work.
And, although this is certainly NOT optimal or anything to aspire to, at least I'm getting a side benefit from this: studies have shown that scattered schedules, working night shift, and sleeping irregular hours raises cortisol levels and promotes weight gain. Of course, so does eating a whole pile of food everyday. Between the two, I fully expect to become quite a bit fatter over the next few months.
I'm already getting "thicker" overall and my belly is more prominent every day. At first it was just the little roll of fat under my navel but as of a few days ago, it's taking on that "all over" roundness it had before. The job I currently have requires a lot of heavy lifting and the my increased abdominal muscle mass is definitely having an impact on the overall shape of my belly. It looks like, at this rate at least, I'm headed for a "ball gut".
Which is a-okay with me.
I've managed to stay on course: total of 3905 calories today (1151 more than I need to simply maintain this weight).
I've been weighing myself throughout the day and the consistent number appears to be 186...so far. I realize it's a good idea to weigh one's self in the morning, however, right now my schedule is really wonky. It's 3 am right now and feels like a really dark midafternoon. This is in no way related to my gaining but completely the fault of the fact that I am currently doing shift work.
And, although this is certainly NOT optimal or anything to aspire to, at least I'm getting a side benefit from this: studies have shown that scattered schedules, working night shift, and sleeping irregular hours raises cortisol levels and promotes weight gain. Of course, so does eating a whole pile of food everyday. Between the two, I fully expect to become quite a bit fatter over the next few months.
I'm already getting "thicker" overall and my belly is more prominent every day. At first it was just the little roll of fat under my navel but as of a few days ago, it's taking on that "all over" roundness it had before. The job I currently have requires a lot of heavy lifting and the my increased abdominal muscle mass is definitely having an impact on the overall shape of my belly. It looks like, at this rate at least, I'm headed for a "ball gut".
Which is a-okay with me.
Friday, November 11, 2011
11 November
I don't think I'm going to have time to post anything tomorrow...or should I say "later today".
Here's the stats for today:
Total calories consumed: 5346...which is 2611 more than I strictly needed to maintain my weight. Which right now is downright variable.
I've been actively gaining for one week and in that time have eaten 9317 extra calories (that is, above and beyond my basic caloric needs at this weight). By all calculations, I should be at least 2.5 pounds heavier than I was last Friday...and I guess we'll see when I get up later today.
I broke down and purchased a different scale this evening and it's MUCH more sensitive to weight fluctation than the other scale. The old scale, although it had a digital readout, was actually just a regular spring scale with some fancy electronics added for the display...and it appeared to be accurate to +/- up to 5 pounds and weighed me the same whether I was wearing jeans and a sweater or buck naked. Not good.
This new scale is truly digital/electronic and appears to shift around within a pound or so (and that just could actually be small differences in my weight depending on how much I'd eaten/had to drink, etc.) In all, it seems to be taking much more accurate measurements.
I only paid $5 for the new scale (it was in a used classified ad) but had to drive nearly 100 km round trip in the dark on country roads to pick it up. I'm not sure if I came out ahead financially when you consider the cost of gas and the hour and a half of my life sacrificed for it, but at least I'm recycling/reusing something instead of buying a brand new one. And, for all intents and purposes, this appears to be a good scale (except that it has the word "Thinner" printed across it. I think I'm going to paint that out and replace it with the word "Fatter". How's that for motivation?)
Not much has changed physically for me since my last post earlier today. I did notice when I was out walking tonight that my belly is quickly becoming more prominent. I think from this point on it's going to be impossible to hide from anyone the fact that I'm gaining weight...and fast. I learned from the last time I gained that 185 seems to be right about where all the extra fat starts going to my belly in a big way.
As I said before, I plan to start posting progress shots from 190 lbs on up (I don't think anyone really wants to see the modest paunch I'm sporting now. I'm waiting until I actually have something worthwhile to show...though I AM taking progress pictures for my own records. God willing, I'm never going to be THIS thin again and someday I might want to have a reminder of just how scrawny I was so I can fully realize just how far I've come.)
Added note: as of 10 am today, I officially weigh 184.5.
And...finally...on this day of remembrance, please take some time to really consider the sacrifices our military men and women have made (and continue to make) in order for the rest of us to live our lives in freedom.
Here's the stats for today:
Total calories consumed: 5346...which is 2611 more than I strictly needed to maintain my weight. Which right now is downright variable.
I've been actively gaining for one week and in that time have eaten 9317 extra calories (that is, above and beyond my basic caloric needs at this weight). By all calculations, I should be at least 2.5 pounds heavier than I was last Friday...and I guess we'll see when I get up later today.
I broke down and purchased a different scale this evening and it's MUCH more sensitive to weight fluctation than the other scale. The old scale, although it had a digital readout, was actually just a regular spring scale with some fancy electronics added for the display...and it appeared to be accurate to +/- up to 5 pounds and weighed me the same whether I was wearing jeans and a sweater or buck naked. Not good.
This new scale is truly digital/electronic and appears to shift around within a pound or so (and that just could actually be small differences in my weight depending on how much I'd eaten/had to drink, etc.) In all, it seems to be taking much more accurate measurements.
I only paid $5 for the new scale (it was in a used classified ad) but had to drive nearly 100 km round trip in the dark on country roads to pick it up. I'm not sure if I came out ahead financially when you consider the cost of gas and the hour and a half of my life sacrificed for it, but at least I'm recycling/reusing something instead of buying a brand new one. And, for all intents and purposes, this appears to be a good scale (except that it has the word "Thinner" printed across it. I think I'm going to paint that out and replace it with the word "Fatter". How's that for motivation?)
Not much has changed physically for me since my last post earlier today. I did notice when I was out walking tonight that my belly is quickly becoming more prominent. I think from this point on it's going to be impossible to hide from anyone the fact that I'm gaining weight...and fast. I learned from the last time I gained that 185 seems to be right about where all the extra fat starts going to my belly in a big way.
As I said before, I plan to start posting progress shots from 190 lbs on up (I don't think anyone really wants to see the modest paunch I'm sporting now. I'm waiting until I actually have something worthwhile to show...though I AM taking progress pictures for my own records. God willing, I'm never going to be THIS thin again and someday I might want to have a reminder of just how scrawny I was so I can fully realize just how far I've come.)
Added note: as of 10 am today, I officially weigh 184.5.
And...finally...on this day of remembrance, please take some time to really consider the sacrifices our military men and women have made (and continue to make) in order for the rest of us to live our lives in freedom.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
10 November (second post)
All right...
As of right now, my scale is recording a gain of TWO pounds. So it's telling me that, in fact, I now weigh a hefty 186. I'm not sure how much I trust this scale. It's lied to me before.
That being said, there is evidence of success: the formerly loose skin on my belly is starting to firm up and I can definitely feel when grab it that the fat there is getting thicker.
I can also say for a fact that I'm "showing" a lot more now than I did a week ago, though I'm certain it's due in part because I'm so bloated from eating so much.
Starting the process of gaining my belly back makes me recall how nice it was when I actually HAD a bigger belly. I kinda regret losing that twenty pounds last summer. If I'd been able to maintain my weight or actually increase it, can you imagine how much bigger I'd already be?
And I'm already starting to get used to the larger meals I've been having. I think I'm going to start pushing the boundaries a bit, try to eat a little bit more everyday. I'm feeling heartened by my progress so far but I know I've got a long, long way to go yet.
As of right now, my scale is recording a gain of TWO pounds. So it's telling me that, in fact, I now weigh a hefty 186. I'm not sure how much I trust this scale. It's lied to me before.
That being said, there is evidence of success: the formerly loose skin on my belly is starting to firm up and I can definitely feel when grab it that the fat there is getting thicker.
I can also say for a fact that I'm "showing" a lot more now than I did a week ago, though I'm certain it's due in part because I'm so bloated from eating so much.
Starting the process of gaining my belly back makes me recall how nice it was when I actually HAD a bigger belly. I kinda regret losing that twenty pounds last summer. If I'd been able to maintain my weight or actually increase it, can you imagine how much bigger I'd already be?
And I'm already starting to get used to the larger meals I've been having. I think I'm going to start pushing the boundaries a bit, try to eat a little bit more everyday. I'm feeling heartened by my progress so far but I know I've got a long, long way to go yet.
10 November 2011
All right...here are the stats for yesterday:
A grand total of 4564 calories (1829 more than I need to maintain my weight of...yet...infuriatingly...I still weigh 184 lbs).
Theoretically, I should have gained a half a pound yesterday. By rights, if the Universe made sense, I would weigh 186 pounds by now.
I seriously think I'm going to go out today and invest in a better scale.
Even accounting for "bloat", I know I'm heavier than I was last week. I can feel the extra weight in my belly and I'm most definitely in the process of rounding out again.
It's just gotta be the damned scale.
A grand total of 4564 calories (1829 more than I need to maintain my weight of...yet...infuriatingly...I still weigh 184 lbs).
Theoretically, I should have gained a half a pound yesterday. By rights, if the Universe made sense, I would weigh 186 pounds by now.
I seriously think I'm going to go out today and invest in a better scale.
Even accounting for "bloat", I know I'm heavier than I was last week. I can feel the extra weight in my belly and I'm most definitely in the process of rounding out again.
It's just gotta be the damned scale.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Dear reddit...
Dear Reddit Moderators:
I just posted an "Iama" on your site. I am one and the same person. Hope this constitutes valid proof.
Dear Everyone Else: please ignore the first two sentences of today's blog.
So as of right now I'm still down two pounds (182). The human body is a complicated machine and I freely admit I'm not even close to understanding how it works. Either that or I need to invest in a less crappy scale.
All I know is that I have to keep on going (with what some would say "dogged determination"). This is all just a numbers game: keep the net calories over the plus side of zero (or the break even point between what it takes to maintain and what it takes to actually gain) and stuff DOES happen. Eventually. I know this from past experience.
And I can definitely start feeling some changes. They're minor right now, but my belly is definitely firming up and feeling denser. I've got a ways to go yet before things need to start stretching again - I've got a lot of loose skin still from the last time I gained and lost it. I'm just tired of having this sad, flabbly little remembrance of the belly I had last year...and I'm looking forward to the time when I grow well beyond that size.
Anyway, the stats for today (for you numbers junkies out there) are as follows:
2993 total calories consumed, which is 258 more than I need to maintain my weight. This translates in to a gain of about 7% of a pound (how many ounces is that? Not many, but hey, at least I'm not losing any weight.).
This weekend I've got two whole days off in which I can eat my heart's content...and a plan to do some SERIOUS eating. I'll keep you posted.
I just posted an "Iama" on your site. I am one and the same person. Hope this constitutes valid proof.
Dear Everyone Else: please ignore the first two sentences of today's blog.
So as of right now I'm still down two pounds (182). The human body is a complicated machine and I freely admit I'm not even close to understanding how it works. Either that or I need to invest in a less crappy scale.
All I know is that I have to keep on going (with what some would say "dogged determination"). This is all just a numbers game: keep the net calories over the plus side of zero (or the break even point between what it takes to maintain and what it takes to actually gain) and stuff DOES happen. Eventually. I know this from past experience.
And I can definitely start feeling some changes. They're minor right now, but my belly is definitely firming up and feeling denser. I've got a ways to go yet before things need to start stretching again - I've got a lot of loose skin still from the last time I gained and lost it. I'm just tired of having this sad, flabbly little remembrance of the belly I had last year...and I'm looking forward to the time when I grow well beyond that size.
Anyway, the stats for today (for you numbers junkies out there) are as follows:
2993 total calories consumed, which is 258 more than I need to maintain my weight. This translates in to a gain of about 7% of a pound (how many ounces is that? Not many, but hey, at least I'm not losing any weight.).
This weekend I've got two whole days off in which I can eat my heart's content...and a plan to do some SERIOUS eating. I'll keep you posted.
Monday, November 7, 2011
7 November (second post)
So I'm getting toward the end of this calendar day...
The results so far are confusing. I have consistently exceeded my basic caloric requirements for five days in a row. I mean, greatly exceeded them to the tune that if the math makes any sense at all, I should be starting to seriously pork out by now.
Just jumped on the scale and it records a DROP of two pounds. I've been noticing that - there are some wild fluctuations. I guess I just need to be more patient and keep plugging away on this.
Looking back on past entries on this blog, it seems the best progress I've always made has seemed effortless. Those were times that I wasn't seriously TRYING to gain, but instead was just following through with the vague intention of getting bigger by getting into the habit of eating all the time.
That being said, I do believe my belly is starting to feel just a little bit firmer and I know it's sticking out lot more because I'm so full, all the time, these days. I forgot how distracting it was to have my belly rubbing up against the inside of my shirt.
Anyway, in case you're curious here are today's stats:
Total of 4038 calories consumed, which is 1303 more than I need to maintain my weight.
Theoretically this translates to a gain of about 1/3 pound for today. Yay me.
The results so far are confusing. I have consistently exceeded my basic caloric requirements for five days in a row. I mean, greatly exceeded them to the tune that if the math makes any sense at all, I should be starting to seriously pork out by now.
Just jumped on the scale and it records a DROP of two pounds. I've been noticing that - there are some wild fluctuations. I guess I just need to be more patient and keep plugging away on this.
Looking back on past entries on this blog, it seems the best progress I've always made has seemed effortless. Those were times that I wasn't seriously TRYING to gain, but instead was just following through with the vague intention of getting bigger by getting into the habit of eating all the time.
That being said, I do believe my belly is starting to feel just a little bit firmer and I know it's sticking out lot more because I'm so full, all the time, these days. I forgot how distracting it was to have my belly rubbing up against the inside of my shirt.
Anyway, in case you're curious here are today's stats:
Total of 4038 calories consumed, which is 1303 more than I need to maintain my weight.
Theoretically this translates to a gain of about 1/3 pound for today. Yay me.
7 November 2011
Okay...I know I need to be patient but this is ridiculous. Four days into this new round of gaining and I'm STILL 184 pounds.
Granted, yesterday I didn't really get a chance to consume my full allotment of calories. I ended the day with 3106 calories consumed (371 more than I strictly needed for the day but 649 less than I had intended to eat). Works out to a gain of only 1/10 of a pound.
Still, I'm holding ground because at the very least I've managed to exceed my basic caloric needs. And...I've eaten a rather large amount of food so far already today and I should easily make my caloric goal by tonight.
I know I just need to keep going...and going...and going but gosh it would be nice to see some progress...
Granted, yesterday I didn't really get a chance to consume my full allotment of calories. I ended the day with 3106 calories consumed (371 more than I strictly needed for the day but 649 less than I had intended to eat). Works out to a gain of only 1/10 of a pound.
Still, I'm holding ground because at the very least I've managed to exceed my basic caloric needs. And...I've eaten a rather large amount of food so far already today and I should easily make my caloric goal by tonight.
I know I just need to keep going...and going...and going but gosh it would be nice to see some progress...
Sunday, November 6, 2011
6 November (3rd post)
So in all the excitement of discovering my "fame" I forgot to update my progress.
The spreadsheet appears to be working well, in fact there are benefits I'm only just beginning to discover: such as the fact that the longer my weight stubbornly stays at 184, the more the spreadsheet's caloric demands go up to compensate as the days tick down to my deadline.
I also added a third sheet to it that predicts what my weight should be at for each day of this gain. I swear this is the most organized I've ever been at this. I just hope it pays off.
Yesterday I managed to consume 1832 more calories than my basic metabolic rate required. It was also 818 more calories than I'd intended to consume. Essentially this should translate to a half pound more of me. Combined with yesterday's efforts, this means I really should be up a pound by the end of tomorrow.
I know it isn't an exact response between what I eat and what I gain. My experience has taught me that the first few days of serious gaining, not much happens. Then it's like a certain threshold is crossed and I wake up one day and I'm noticeably fatter.
After that, if I can keep up the motivation and be consistent with my consumption (especially if I can keep eating more than the base recommendation of the spreadsheet), the gains will be steadily upward after that. At least, that was my experience last year when I made the best progress of my life and went from the weight I am now, to 202 in about eight weeks.
My first short term goal is 190 lbs by November 24th. It's also when I plan to take my next progress photograph (even though this blog already has pictures of me at that weight from the last time I gained). November 24th is a conservative estimate and it will be awesome if I'm able to gain to 190 sooner than that.
That being said, I think the real fun is going to start after I pass 200 again. That's when I recall that I truly started to finally feel fat. It was also when my belly started to get some serious attention because it was becoming big enough that there was no sucking it in anymore. Man I miss that. I'm really looking forward to being that round again...actually by the end of this I'll be quite a bit rounder, in fact.
I'm going to go eat something now.
The spreadsheet appears to be working well, in fact there are benefits I'm only just beginning to discover: such as the fact that the longer my weight stubbornly stays at 184, the more the spreadsheet's caloric demands go up to compensate as the days tick down to my deadline.
I also added a third sheet to it that predicts what my weight should be at for each day of this gain. I swear this is the most organized I've ever been at this. I just hope it pays off.
Yesterday I managed to consume 1832 more calories than my basic metabolic rate required. It was also 818 more calories than I'd intended to consume. Essentially this should translate to a half pound more of me. Combined with yesterday's efforts, this means I really should be up a pound by the end of tomorrow.
I know it isn't an exact response between what I eat and what I gain. My experience has taught me that the first few days of serious gaining, not much happens. Then it's like a certain threshold is crossed and I wake up one day and I'm noticeably fatter.
After that, if I can keep up the motivation and be consistent with my consumption (especially if I can keep eating more than the base recommendation of the spreadsheet), the gains will be steadily upward after that. At least, that was my experience last year when I made the best progress of my life and went from the weight I am now, to 202 in about eight weeks.
My first short term goal is 190 lbs by November 24th. It's also when I plan to take my next progress photograph (even though this blog already has pictures of me at that weight from the last time I gained). November 24th is a conservative estimate and it will be awesome if I'm able to gain to 190 sooner than that.
That being said, I think the real fun is going to start after I pass 200 again. That's when I recall that I truly started to finally feel fat. It was also when my belly started to get some serious attention because it was becoming big enough that there was no sucking it in anymore. Man I miss that. I'm really looking forward to being that round again...actually by the end of this I'll be quite a bit rounder, in fact.
I'm going to go eat something now.
6 November (the second)
Apparently the fame of my gaining ways has crossed over into some seriously messed up places...
I was backtracking some of the traffic link stats on my blog (yes, I know it's creepy but I find it fascinating to see just where my blog is getting cross posted to and how people are hearing about it) and I found this:
http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/fxw9l/one_year_from_300lbs_to_175lbs/
The thread is about weight loss and virtually all the comments were incredibly fat-phobic.
Imagine my confusion when I got there and tried to find the link to my blog (I mean, why would a bunch of fat-hating ex-fatties want to read MY blog...286 times?)
Now I had to read the comments on that sucker for about 20 minutes before I found out where the link was. Turns out it was in the part of the comments where they're talking about how you can lose weight but keep volume. There's four links: two examples of what someone 300 pounds can look like and two links showing what people can look like at 200 pounds. The first 200 pound shot is of a super pumped up body builder...and the other one is me. Apparently my picture and blog are being used to show how things should NOT be done. According to them: Me=Fail.
After getting over the shock of it (and counting my blessings that I never include face shots or identifying info in my pix)...
The message I'm getting from this is that at 200 pounds I was looking like one seriously chunky monkey. I'm feeling really conflicted right now: should I be furious that my blog and photograph are being used as a source of ridicule by others? Or should I be feeling happy and validated as a budding fat guy that there's a whole lot of non-gainer type people (I mean, the exact literal opposite!) who looked at my picture and said "wow, that guy sure is fat"?
Anyway, to the commenter who asked "why would anyone WANT to get fat?"...my answer is this: "because it's MY body and I choose not to mindlessly work to conform to an arbitrary stereotype of what 'beautiful' is...and instead spend my efforts engaging in things that provide me pleasure. "
Besides, what kind of exotic chemical/hormonal brews do you think those pumped up guys have running through their bloodstreams? Being that hypermuscular is just not natural. All it takes for me to improve myself is FOOD.
I was backtracking some of the traffic link stats on my blog (yes, I know it's creepy but I find it fascinating to see just where my blog is getting cross posted to and how people are hearing about it) and I found this:
http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/fxw9l/one_year_from_300lbs_to_175lbs/
The thread is about weight loss and virtually all the comments were incredibly fat-phobic.
Imagine my confusion when I got there and tried to find the link to my blog (I mean, why would a bunch of fat-hating ex-fatties want to read MY blog...286 times?)
Now I had to read the comments on that sucker for about 20 minutes before I found out where the link was. Turns out it was in the part of the comments where they're talking about how you can lose weight but keep volume. There's four links: two examples of what someone 300 pounds can look like and two links showing what people can look like at 200 pounds. The first 200 pound shot is of a super pumped up body builder...and the other one is me. Apparently my picture and blog are being used to show how things should NOT be done. According to them: Me=Fail.
After getting over the shock of it (and counting my blessings that I never include face shots or identifying info in my pix)...
The message I'm getting from this is that at 200 pounds I was looking like one seriously chunky monkey. I'm feeling really conflicted right now: should I be furious that my blog and photograph are being used as a source of ridicule by others? Or should I be feeling happy and validated as a budding fat guy that there's a whole lot of non-gainer type people (I mean, the exact literal opposite!) who looked at my picture and said "wow, that guy sure is fat"?
Anyway, to the commenter who asked "why would anyone WANT to get fat?"...my answer is this: "because it's MY body and I choose not to mindlessly work to conform to an arbitrary stereotype of what 'beautiful' is...and instead spend my efforts engaging in things that provide me pleasure. "
Besides, what kind of exotic chemical/hormonal brews do you think those pumped up guys have running through their bloodstreams? Being that hypermuscular is just not natural. All it takes for me to improve myself is FOOD.
Friday, November 4, 2011
5 November 2011
So I spent the better part of today redesigning a spreadsheet. Sounds pretty boring, doesn't it? This one's pretty cool though...I pulled data off the internet that tells me how much I should eat at my current weight (sadly, still a modestly pudgy 184)...and how many calories I need to eat in order to gain.
I figure a lot of my problem is binge eating, getting sick of food, dropping off and just not keeping up with it. The best success I've had in the past is slow, steady consistent gains that add up impressively over time (I'm still amazed I was able to break 200 lbs last year and I really, really want to get back up there...and then a lot more...in the coming few months).
The final spreadsheet is a somewhat elegant rendering that took a lot of serious mathlike finangling to get right (mostly it was trying to adjust for the fact that as I'm getting fatter and fatter, the more I'm going to need to eat just to maintain my weight...let alone keep growing)
Because Blogspot won't let me attach the file (or even cut and paste!) for you to see, I'll only include the highlights:
Today I needed to eat 2735 calories to maintain the modest belly I've gained back so far.
I set a goal of 3743 calories to consume for each 24 hour period that I remain at 184 lbs. When I top the scale at 185, I'll change the weight in the spreadsheet and it will automatically add the approximately 10 extra calories I'll need to maintain that weight. And then it will add the extra 1015 calories or so that are what (hopefully) will stick around and become body mass.
What I actually ate today was 3848 calories, which means I exceeded my projected goal by 105 calories. This means that today I will have gained about 1/3 of a pound. It doesn't sound like much, in fact, it's downright moderate.
However, like all good goals, my new resolution has a time limit: I'm trying...no, I WILL gain 51 pounds by April 30th, 2012 (to a total body weight of 235 lbs). In fact, if I keep eating the way I did today, I'll actually be that fat by April 13th, 2012. In all, it's right about at the top limit of the rate at which I feel comfortable gaining: about 3 pounds/week.
That being said, by April 30th, if I keep going the way I did today, I'll actually be 240 lbs.
Aren't spreadsheets just so geekily wonderful?
See, and as boring as I find math to be, it's exactly this kind of predictive, measurable result to be so motivating! I like knowing that, even though it's only the very first day, and there's no noticeable results (yet), what I've eaten today is going to count for something very tangible in the long run (a much bigger belly!)
And it's sustainable. I can totally do this every single day. I could eat another meal right now. In fact, seeing as it's after midnight and I'm about to head to bed, I probably should (the calories will count on the spreadsheet in tomorrow's numbers). After a day of eating over my basic caloric needs, whatever calories I take in now are likely going to turn into fat...and taking me inexorably closer to my goal weight...something I find incredibly motivating.
The spreadsheet, now that it's done, is really easy to use. And I now know exactly how much more I need to eat every single day. I think I'm going to work to overshoot, just a little, each day, to see how much more quickly I can get the numbers to add up...both on the spreadsheet AND on the scale. That, my friends, is also really motivating.
And...it's hard to notice 1/3 of a pound gain (other then a sense of tightness in my belly that says I've eaten well today). But in three days, I'll be 1 lb heavier. Still not much of a change. But by December 5th, I'm going to be 10 pounds heavier. By New Year's Eve, I'll weigh 202 lbs, the exact same weight I was when I was heaviest I've ever been.
Which means I'll start the new year on a solid foundation (no pun intended) of gaining...and it's all up and up from there.
And if you think 235 isn't that big, consider this: for someone my height (5'6"), weighing 235 means I'll have a BMI (body mass index...or relative measure of weight vs. height) of 37.9. This doesn't sound like much, does it? But for someone 6'0" to have the same BMI, he'd have to weigh 280 pounds.
So basically what I'm saying is that for me, porking out to 235 pounds means I'm going to be pretty damned huge. I was already getting a very noticable belly at 200 pounds (to where people were really starting to comment on it).
Add another 35 pounds of fat on top of that... I just can't wait to experience what it's going to be like to be so very fat and round and heavy...
And if past experience is any guide, once I get used to the idea of being so plus-sized, I'll probably bump it up to 250 (that'd be just shy of 300 pounds on our theoretical 6 foot tall dude).
Because that's the size and shape of body I honestly think I should have had all along...and after a lifetime of dreaming about it, I've decided now I'm willing to do what it takes to get it.
I figure a lot of my problem is binge eating, getting sick of food, dropping off and just not keeping up with it. The best success I've had in the past is slow, steady consistent gains that add up impressively over time (I'm still amazed I was able to break 200 lbs last year and I really, really want to get back up there...and then a lot more...in the coming few months).
The final spreadsheet is a somewhat elegant rendering that took a lot of serious mathlike finangling to get right (mostly it was trying to adjust for the fact that as I'm getting fatter and fatter, the more I'm going to need to eat just to maintain my weight...let alone keep growing)
Because Blogspot won't let me attach the file (or even cut and paste!) for you to see, I'll only include the highlights:
Today I needed to eat 2735 calories to maintain the modest belly I've gained back so far.
I set a goal of 3743 calories to consume for each 24 hour period that I remain at 184 lbs. When I top the scale at 185, I'll change the weight in the spreadsheet and it will automatically add the approximately 10 extra calories I'll need to maintain that weight. And then it will add the extra 1015 calories or so that are what (hopefully) will stick around and become body mass.
What I actually ate today was 3848 calories, which means I exceeded my projected goal by 105 calories. This means that today I will have gained about 1/3 of a pound. It doesn't sound like much, in fact, it's downright moderate.
However, like all good goals, my new resolution has a time limit: I'm trying...no, I WILL gain 51 pounds by April 30th, 2012 (to a total body weight of 235 lbs). In fact, if I keep eating the way I did today, I'll actually be that fat by April 13th, 2012. In all, it's right about at the top limit of the rate at which I feel comfortable gaining: about 3 pounds/week.
That being said, by April 30th, if I keep going the way I did today, I'll actually be 240 lbs.
Aren't spreadsheets just so geekily wonderful?
See, and as boring as I find math to be, it's exactly this kind of predictive, measurable result to be so motivating! I like knowing that, even though it's only the very first day, and there's no noticeable results (yet), what I've eaten today is going to count for something very tangible in the long run (a much bigger belly!)
And it's sustainable. I can totally do this every single day. I could eat another meal right now. In fact, seeing as it's after midnight and I'm about to head to bed, I probably should (the calories will count on the spreadsheet in tomorrow's numbers). After a day of eating over my basic caloric needs, whatever calories I take in now are likely going to turn into fat...and taking me inexorably closer to my goal weight...something I find incredibly motivating.
The spreadsheet, now that it's done, is really easy to use. And I now know exactly how much more I need to eat every single day. I think I'm going to work to overshoot, just a little, each day, to see how much more quickly I can get the numbers to add up...both on the spreadsheet AND on the scale. That, my friends, is also really motivating.
And...it's hard to notice 1/3 of a pound gain (other then a sense of tightness in my belly that says I've eaten well today). But in three days, I'll be 1 lb heavier. Still not much of a change. But by December 5th, I'm going to be 10 pounds heavier. By New Year's Eve, I'll weigh 202 lbs, the exact same weight I was when I was heaviest I've ever been.
Which means I'll start the new year on a solid foundation (no pun intended) of gaining...and it's all up and up from there.
And if you think 235 isn't that big, consider this: for someone my height (5'6"), weighing 235 means I'll have a BMI (body mass index...or relative measure of weight vs. height) of 37.9. This doesn't sound like much, does it? But for someone 6'0" to have the same BMI, he'd have to weigh 280 pounds.
So basically what I'm saying is that for me, porking out to 235 pounds means I'm going to be pretty damned huge. I was already getting a very noticable belly at 200 pounds (to where people were really starting to comment on it).
Add another 35 pounds of fat on top of that... I just can't wait to experience what it's going to be like to be so very fat and round and heavy...
And if past experience is any guide, once I get used to the idea of being so plus-sized, I'll probably bump it up to 250 (that'd be just shy of 300 pounds on our theoretical 6 foot tall dude).
Because that's the size and shape of body I honestly think I should have had all along...and after a lifetime of dreaming about it, I've decided now I'm willing to do what it takes to get it.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Looking for help with the next 50...
Hello all...
I've been working hard for years to gain - with limited success. Last winter I (finally!) managed to get up to 202 lbs but ended up losing it over the summer and was back down to 180 lbs.
Currently I'm back at 184 but it's been a struggle. I think I could really make progress if I had someone to help. Left to my own devices, I just yo-yo throughout the same 20 pound range (180-200). While it's fun (at least the part where I'm getting fatter), it's not really getting me anywhere because I just don't seem to have the discipline to keep doing the consistent gain that will get me past this point.
This year I'm shooting for 235. I'm imposing a timeframe of 6 months, starting from t0day (a little over 8 lbs per month or 2 lbs per week).
If anyone local to Edmonton wants to give it a try, I'd welcome more aggressive help to get me gaining beyond what I've thus far been able to accomplish on my own.
I can be reached at roundboy123456@yahoo.ca
I've been working hard for years to gain - with limited success. Last winter I (finally!) managed to get up to 202 lbs but ended up losing it over the summer and was back down to 180 lbs.
Currently I'm back at 184 but it's been a struggle. I think I could really make progress if I had someone to help. Left to my own devices, I just yo-yo throughout the same 20 pound range (180-200). While it's fun (at least the part where I'm getting fatter), it's not really getting me anywhere because I just don't seem to have the discipline to keep doing the consistent gain that will get me past this point.
This year I'm shooting for 235. I'm imposing a timeframe of 6 months, starting from t0day (a little over 8 lbs per month or 2 lbs per week).
If anyone local to Edmonton wants to give it a try, I'd welcome more aggressive help to get me gaining beyond what I've thus far been able to accomplish on my own.
I can be reached at roundboy123456@yahoo.ca
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
20 September 2011
So I'm back up to 185...well, the scale seems to be flipping between 184 and 186 so I'm averaging it out.
All I know is that I'm definitely starting to pack it back on again. Feeling solider than I have in awhile and the old belly's starting to round out in a way that's comforting and yet motivating.
Off to eat some more...
All I know is that I'm definitely starting to pack it back on again. Feeling solider than I have in awhile and the old belly's starting to round out in a way that's comforting and yet motivating.
Off to eat some more...
Sunday, September 11, 2011
11 September 2011
Argh...
I honestly can't remember ever feeling this full and bloated...and excited!
I'm already up two pounds (though some of it food/bloat). Had an absolutely mindblowing time last night. I met up with another gainer and after talking for awhile, we got down to business. I don't think I've ever managed to eat as much as I did in one sitting last night. And we kept it up all night. Right now I feel like a snake who's eaten a rabbit and as bloated as I feel, I just want to keep eating so I can keep up the momentum!
It really *does* make a difference having someone there, cajoling and nagging you to have "just one more bite". And this guy knows what he's talking about - he's about my height but absolutely huge (300+)....and a freaking eating machine. I can only hope to be as big someday.
This experience has convinced me that a) if this guy can get as big as he as as quickly as he says he has, then there's hope for me...even if I take longer, I can still get up into the big numbers weightwise; b) looking at him, I can see myself getting bigger than I ever thought was possible and still having a life; c)it really, really helps to have someone there cheering you on.
All I can say is "thanks" and let's do this again sometime very soon!
And now...back to bed...to sleep and wake up just a little fatter than I was yesterday...
I honestly can't remember ever feeling this full and bloated...and excited!
I'm already up two pounds (though some of it food/bloat). Had an absolutely mindblowing time last night. I met up with another gainer and after talking for awhile, we got down to business. I don't think I've ever managed to eat as much as I did in one sitting last night. And we kept it up all night. Right now I feel like a snake who's eaten a rabbit and as bloated as I feel, I just want to keep eating so I can keep up the momentum!
It really *does* make a difference having someone there, cajoling and nagging you to have "just one more bite". And this guy knows what he's talking about - he's about my height but absolutely huge (300+)....and a freaking eating machine. I can only hope to be as big someday.
This experience has convinced me that a) if this guy can get as big as he as as quickly as he says he has, then there's hope for me...even if I take longer, I can still get up into the big numbers weightwise; b) looking at him, I can see myself getting bigger than I ever thought was possible and still having a life; c)it really, really helps to have someone there cheering you on.
All I can say is "thanks" and let's do this again sometime very soon!
And now...back to bed...to sleep and wake up just a little fatter than I was yesterday...
Friday, September 9, 2011
9 September 2011
Hello everyone...
Let me start this post by acknowledging that I may perhaps be the worst blogger on the face of the planet...followed closely by being the worst gainer around.
I accepted a temporary job up north and have been living completely "off the grid" since June. My living situation was such that I really didn't have regular (or, more importantly, PRIVATE) access to the internet. Food was so darned expensive...and not much variety...and much of it off limits to me (dietary restrictions)...that although I tried, I couldn't keep up the pace. I also worked my butt off (literally).
So I traded 20 pounds and three months of my life for a wad of money and a tan.
It's weird though - I still have more of a belly now at 182 than I did the last time I was this light. I appear to have lost fat from other places on my body more. Proportionately, I still look pretty big (or perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part).
All I know is that I take solace in the fact that my belly still pushes my t-shirt out.
So, anyway, although it appears I'm doomed to continually gain, lose, and gain again the same freaking 20 pounds, I'm going to keep trying.
Words of encouragement most definitely welcome.
Let me start this post by acknowledging that I may perhaps be the worst blogger on the face of the planet...followed closely by being the worst gainer around.
I accepted a temporary job up north and have been living completely "off the grid" since June. My living situation was such that I really didn't have regular (or, more importantly, PRIVATE) access to the internet. Food was so darned expensive...and not much variety...and much of it off limits to me (dietary restrictions)...that although I tried, I couldn't keep up the pace. I also worked my butt off (literally).
So I traded 20 pounds and three months of my life for a wad of money and a tan.
It's weird though - I still have more of a belly now at 182 than I did the last time I was this light. I appear to have lost fat from other places on my body more. Proportionately, I still look pretty big (or perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part).
All I know is that I take solace in the fact that my belly still pushes my t-shirt out.
So, anyway, although it appears I'm doomed to continually gain, lose, and gain again the same freaking 20 pounds, I'm going to keep trying.
Words of encouragement most definitely welcome.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
15 May 2011
Still at 198lbs. Got a rather intensively physical job and after a week of doing it, have actually lost some flab but gained some muscle. My belly's a little flatter - I'm going to have to start eating more or I'm going to start going backwards...
Friday, April 29, 2011
29 April 2011
After almost of week of eating extra meals and snacks, my belly's firming up and starting to round out and feel tight again.
Just weighed myself: 198 pounds and counting (upward)...
Just weighed myself: 198 pounds and counting (upward)...
Sunday, April 24, 2011
25 April 2011
So a status update:
Sadly, I'm down to 196 pounds. It seems weird to say "down to" 196, seeing as most of my life I've been working upward toward such a grand number. And over the last few months I've really gotten accustomed to being this big. It just feels natural now (whereas before anything over about 185 felt awkward because I just wasn't yet used to how my body mass was changing)
On the plus side, I've only dropped down a few pounds and should be able to make up for lost time.
I started tonight by eating a somewhat huge Easter dinner. If past experience proves correct, I should be able to gain very easily back up to 202 or so. The body does seem to remember (and... in my case apparently...quite enjoy) getting fatter.
I know I've been all over the map on this one but I've decided to move in baby steps because that's really what seems to be working. Small gains that add up to a much bigger gain (with periods of small losses when life gets busy). Much like a glacier, even though it's going slowly and even sometimes backwards, still there IS progress being made.
And looking at my latest profile picture, I know I want to fill out that belly and lose that flatness around the navel. I figure a steady, constant gain is the ticket (2 lbs a week or so).
I know that doesn't seem like a lot (even to me) but I also don't want to get into the whole binge eating, getting sick, and then walking away from it for months. I really have had the most success with slow steady gains. And really, in the end, what sticks around is what matters.
Also, if you do the math, 2 lbs a week, steadily for a year, works out to 104 lbs (for a total of 300 lbs)
Not sure if I ever want to be 300 lbs though. There is a point at which quality of life becomes an issue when you get too fat and I don't want to cross that line.
My best estimate for the size I want to be is about 250 lbs total. For a guy 5'6", that translates into being quite round indeed. I also intend to start a workout program which hopefully will help my belly be rounder and firmer than perhaps it would be if I were to simply sit around and let nature take its course.
Short term goal: 205 lbs. That will be a gain of 9 pounds (and three pounds heavier than I've ever been). After that I'm hoping to capture pictures of every five pounds after that (every two to three weeks if all goes according to plan) to show a smooth progression of me fattening up.
Wish me luck! This has turned out to be much harder than I ever thought it would be.
Every time I look at how fat I've already become (though I freely admit I'm not really that fat...yet), I think: TOTALLY worth it!
Sadly, I'm down to 196 pounds. It seems weird to say "down to" 196, seeing as most of my life I've been working upward toward such a grand number. And over the last few months I've really gotten accustomed to being this big. It just feels natural now (whereas before anything over about 185 felt awkward because I just wasn't yet used to how my body mass was changing)
On the plus side, I've only dropped down a few pounds and should be able to make up for lost time.
I started tonight by eating a somewhat huge Easter dinner. If past experience proves correct, I should be able to gain very easily back up to 202 or so. The body does seem to remember (and... in my case apparently...quite enjoy) getting fatter.
I know I've been all over the map on this one but I've decided to move in baby steps because that's really what seems to be working. Small gains that add up to a much bigger gain (with periods of small losses when life gets busy). Much like a glacier, even though it's going slowly and even sometimes backwards, still there IS progress being made.
And looking at my latest profile picture, I know I want to fill out that belly and lose that flatness around the navel. I figure a steady, constant gain is the ticket (2 lbs a week or so).
I know that doesn't seem like a lot (even to me) but I also don't want to get into the whole binge eating, getting sick, and then walking away from it for months. I really have had the most success with slow steady gains. And really, in the end, what sticks around is what matters.
Also, if you do the math, 2 lbs a week, steadily for a year, works out to 104 lbs (for a total of 300 lbs)
Not sure if I ever want to be 300 lbs though. There is a point at which quality of life becomes an issue when you get too fat and I don't want to cross that line.
My best estimate for the size I want to be is about 250 lbs total. For a guy 5'6", that translates into being quite round indeed. I also intend to start a workout program which hopefully will help my belly be rounder and firmer than perhaps it would be if I were to simply sit around and let nature take its course.
Short term goal: 205 lbs. That will be a gain of 9 pounds (and three pounds heavier than I've ever been). After that I'm hoping to capture pictures of every five pounds after that (every two to three weeks if all goes according to plan) to show a smooth progression of me fattening up.
Wish me luck! This has turned out to be much harder than I ever thought it would be.
Every time I look at how fat I've already become (though I freely admit I'm not really that fat...yet), I think: TOTALLY worth it!
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